I made a TV show Sample and I need real feedback

frankthetank

I thought it was excellent. It sucks that google has such horrible quality video! You could always torrent the HD version!!! Smile

Your pond looks awesome. Will you be explaining how you went about creating that in a future episode? I'd like to drop one of those in my front yard...the neighbors already think i'm nuts Smile

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FilmShack · Tar Sands Joined: Dec 22, 2006 Posts: 79

It's not fully scripted, although I do figure out what I'm trying to say the day before we shoot. I'm not well connected, hopefully the more people who see it the more that will change. I feel like I've dumbed it down already, but we'll see. There is so much to say, thats why I need a thirty hour tv series to say it all. People will need to figure this out one day. I just want to take this stuff mainstream, and I hope audiences except this approach and try it out. Thanks for the feedback, please foward the link to more people. Thanks again,

Patti

PS-maybe I should come out with a "peak oil picture calendar" for you guys.

coyote

It's fantastic, so I'll have to nitpick. Since you'll be promoting: as a designer, I know that the use of Papyrus as a font will immediately turn off some professionals involved with design, media or marketing. Probably sounds silly to those not in the industry, but the kind of people you'll be sending this to can react to things like that. The title display type is the least professional looking aspect of your presentation. If you were one of my students, I'd make you change the typeface to something less last-year trendy (and more legible) before giving you a 100. For content and style, it's a knockout, and I have no doubt you'll succeed.

Please make sure to let us know when your show is on the air. There are a lot of people here who would love to watch.

Oh, and don't worry about Neopo's avatar. He's got theories, that's all.
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rockdoc123 · Light Sweet Crude Joined: May 16, 2005 Posts: 1715

Great stuff....
Unfortunately all I can think of is why did we have cities in the first place?
I grew up in what has now become a popular place for the wealthy to inhabite ...back then it was a few families with 20 acres each and our next door neighbour had a garden farm. Typical pre-dinner time activity for us as wee folk was to climb over the fence with my mother and walk our way through the huge garden they had, filling the basket and eventually ending up at the house where Mr Lim, an affable elder Chinese gentlemen calculated up the damages. Fresh veggies every day and fun for the children.
BTW...for those of you who think I'm a nasty oil person, the house I grew up in my father built and it was heated entirely by a big wood stove which heated the water tanks and most of the house. This back in the fifties. Sounds like a great idea until you realize how much time you spend chopping wood

FilmShack · Tar Sands Joined: Dec 22, 2006 Posts: 79

So the font is nasty. Okay I'll work on that. I have been thinking of something more "girly", I'll post it as soon as I work out the text. I've been working on this for a while so a little bit more is no big deal. Thanks for the support, please forward it around.

My dad has a log cabin, the woodstove does a number! I heat one of my cottages with a woodstove, personally I love it, but no one asks me to split it since the axe is too heavy for me to swing. Thats what men are for.

LOL
Patti

Narz

Thanks for sharing. Very inspiring and your presentation (voice, music, switching from one scene to the next) was excellent.

Those bunnies are cute. Do you eat them too?
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seldom_seen · Fission Joined: Apr 12, 2005 Posts: 2068

are they real?

skyemoor · Last edited by skyemoor on Sat Dec 23, 2006 8:35 am; edited 3 times in total

Patti,

Good lead-in video to your series. Some thoughts;

1. You might talk about how you are going to explain each of the topics in future shows in simple-to-establish/maintain steps. Your raised bed example can be a built-in teaser. Don't be afraid to use content hooks to get people eager to see your next show.

2. Speaking of teaser and hooks, you certainly got the attention of male viewers (I'm happily married and am looking forward to more of your series); any input from women on whether some of the busty intro clips could affect the interest of the average female viewer (single or married)? What is the demographic you are trying to reach? I'm willing to bet that your biggest draw will be families, as single guys tend to involved in many other pursuits (though you just might change their mindset). As much as it caught my attention, you might consider backing off of the intro pond dipping scene (as you have enough other [a tad more] subtle cleavage shots), though you might also have different versions for different markets.

3. Your articulate, upbeat manner helps keep people's attention and interest.

4. Have you considered discussing container ("lasagna gardening") and rooftop gardening for the more space-pinched urban dwellers in your series? What about moveable animal cages for suburban dwellers to utilize lawnmowing rabbits and chickens? And disease-resistant fruit and nut trees? Note that we also discuss raising rabbits and poultry in our Planning for the Future forum here at peakoil.com.

5. Are you going to have recaps on your website so that people can make a printout or have something static to refer back to when planning/building?

6. Good emphasis on goals ("feed your family xxx, yyy...", "save $ by ...", etc), without too much greentalk. You might even ask upfront, "Why garden?" and perhaps add to your exising material by talking about how gardening helps you relax, gives you a sense of accomplishment, can be started in baby steps by rank novices, a hedge against any disruption in the food supply chain, etc. You might even should a scrumptious plateful or two of appealing recipes (though not intended as a cooking spot) as another teaser/hook.

7. Your use of movement effectively keeps attention focused. I liked the way you closed your piece by strolling through your garden area. Your knitting together of short clips showing steps is a good execution of that classic videographer rule of thumb.

8. In your detailed shows in your series, you might discuss variations in the way something might be accomplished and the criteria by which people might do something slightly differently. For example, if people decide not to use rabbits, they might use a composting toilet (or both). The Japanese used to have their poultry cages over a corner of their ponds, as another way of recycling feed.

9. Discussing rabbits as pets or food sources will be a tightrope act for some, as most people do not associate pets with dinner fair. How might you keep from turning off vegetarian viewers? Egg laying chickens are fine with ovo-lacto types, of course.

10. How about incorporating some edible landscaping techniques, so that people will want to sit out in their backyard in a pleasing environment (and not think just about weeding or garden chores, for example). In other words, how can you make it visually appealing as well, instead of just utilitarian? Urban permaculture could be a fast growing segment.

11. Any plans to discuss companion planting?

12. Have you considered 4 season gardening tips? Raised bed frames can be constructed in a manner that makes it easy to transition to cold frames. While winter gardening might be difficult with lack of access to sunlight, more output in spring and fall could be a big plus.

Other comments forthcoming after we can see a list of the 30 shows with preliminary outlines.
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lateStarter

Totally blown away! I would actually start watching TV again (or just buy the DVD) if something like this was available. Can't wait to show my wife... I doubt you will have any problems getting this done. Please, if you really believe in this (and I get the sense you are genuine - the real thing) - get this done. Hats off to your efforts!

Not to get ahead of things, but seems like lots of opportunity for in-depth coverage of various topics... So much to learn!
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maga · Coal Joined: Nov 25, 2006 Posts: 4

Hi Patti,

wonderful work, presence, ideas, easy to grasp. Maybe to see more people and context around you in the movie would be good.

I had a lot of questions though to you and other people here: how do I contact this person? Is she real? Is she an actress? Does she have a series coming up? A website? A workshop series? Is she travelling to talk meet with people? With youth? Can we use this to outreach to communities with low level of earth and energy issues awareness? To sparkle dialogue and actions? Where is she based? Other community connections to build on this, or that have lead to this short video?

But all these questions mean one simple thing: great work, inspiring, I want to know more about you and your work, and best of luck with wider broadcasting and more filming. Keep us posted!

~Laura (Boston)

"The eyes of the future are looking back at us and they are praying for us to see beyond our own time" Terry Tempest Williams

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FilmShack · Tar Sands Joined: Dec 22, 2006 Posts: 79

1. Seldom Seen: Everything I do is all natural.
2. Skymore: Thank you for the time and insite. In terms of the breasts, I am puerto rican and am dressed like a nun from a cultural perspective. If they are clouding the message or turning off viewers than I think they(the breasts) may be a problem. However if it helps spreads the message than so be it. I'm pretty sure most women don't care about my cleavage, they are more interested in the information that I'm shareing. I think at best case senario my appearance will only help us mainstream the message.

I haven't actually built the website yet. But I will. Everything I am trying to do is heavily influenced by the folks that came before me. It all began for me in the mid-1990's when I read the book Chicken Tractor. Thats what started me on my permaculture path. I feel as if we have so many topics for the show that can make the world a better place. Cooking will be a huge component of the show. I really want to show people how to eat foods that are in season. So in every episode I want to harvest and then prepare something directly from the garden. I don't think America is ready to see me harvest a bunnie and eat him. However, I will admit that rabbit tastes really good when well prepared.

Edible landscapes are ultimately what permaculture is all about. I have a mini orchard I planted last year that will be in the show. My apple trees in the spring look so good its frightening. All of my garden area's feature sitting area's. I really don't do any weeding, the animals and mulch take care of that for me.

Companion planting is one of the many pest reduction techniques I use, and I always plant corn and beans together. Works great! If and when we get picked up, I will definately look to this forum for advise and help before we go into production. When you sit doing this stuff you sometimes feel if your the only one doing it, and this site makes me feel like there is a community out there.

3. Neopo, thank you for explaining yourself. The images you are using are like playing with fire. But I respect your point of view. I lost a good friend on 911(he was on flight 11) so I'm personally conected to those events.

4. Laura, I am real. I'm not an actress. I am a film and video producer by trade and education. I was watching how to show's and said, I can do that why hire an actress? My plan is to make a series for the show. I think that creating a grass roots approach is the best way to get the series made, and also protect the message from being ruined by corporate. If we can show there is an audience for this show then the networks won't be able to dumb it down too much.(Please leave some comments on the google site and forward the link around to as many people as possible and ask them to do the same.) In terms of my website, I have so many ideas. For example I would love to put live webcams in the rabbit nests so that school kids could see the miracle of birth live in their classrooms. I think webcams that track animal growth would be super cool. I am located in Boston and starting next spring I think I will open my garden on saturdays for people(however my livestock is illegal so I'm going to have to get a permit for having what I call a "Demonstration Farmette". I don't want the city to take my precious goats from me! Please feel free to use me like a resource and if you want to help me put this together considering you could be my neighbor I would welcome the help.

So thank you people! I am very encouraged. Please keep pushing the link and leave some positive comments on the google site as well. Here in a Mass. we elected a governer grass roots style. Help me get this show out there with grass roots. The competion on google video is intense so please keep pushing this link out there so we can be legite to networks.

Thanks again,

Patti

cynthia · Heavy Crude Joined: May 29, 2005 Posts: 382

"I heat one of my cottages with a woodstove, personally I love it, but no one asks me to split it since the axe is too heavy for me to swing. Thats what men are for. "

Whoa! You're the same gal using a chop saw and power drill, while having your way with lumber?
I suggest a segment on the proper handling of axes/mauls and how to build a proper fire. Men aren't always around especially when they're sitting in front of computers with their tongues hanging in their laps looking at pretty women. Rolling Eyes

Keep up the good work. Your post was definately a breath of fresh air to these forums.
cynthia

AnniCat

Wonderful work Patti, I'm looking forward to hearing about your progress. You're definitely on the right path, and with new shows on HGTV like "Living With Ed," on the horizon you've got an in. People want to see exactly what you're about to produce. The timing is cutting edge and your presentation is very Rachel Ray (that is a compliment *g*) and will appeal to many.
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rdsaltpower · Heavy Crude Joined: Aug 30, 2006 Posts: 130

great job Patti, My wife and I are going to raise some veggies and herbs this summer and we are also into alternative power, solar etc. We watch hdtv, food network etc. Your style of show would be right up our alley! Good luck.