I need to ask you all for your help, advice and assistance..

Judgie

I have a question for you all regarding where I should go now in regards to my life and job/career.

I'm 21 (nearly 22) and doing a bachelor of environmental management. Completed highschool way back in 2003 at age 18
and then went straight into doing a Double-Degree in Information Technology. To put it simply, I finished the year but it
fell through. I went into hospitality in 2005 and 2006 and although I did well did not enjoy it, and with parents encouragement
and more than a bit of a hint that it was what they wanted me to do, I went back to uni and we end up where I am at now.

The thing is, i'm not enjoying it, and never really have. Although I can put out essays, etc of amazing quality when I work at it and get the resultant grades, I've never really in my mind been the studying/homework, etc. type., and I just don't feel motivated,particularly after waking up to the real ramifications of peak oil and climate change earlier this year. I have diagnosed myself with mild - moderate depression (and it has been affecting my performance at uni) since then,
or at least that is what I believe it to be, and have been taking St. John's Wort, which seems to be helping some. I also feel like i'm only doing it for my parents and not for me.
I plan to finish this year, and do relatively well. However, what i'd like to ask is how to deal with my parents, who believe having the highest income is everything at the expense of job and life happiness, and how not to lose my girlfriend at the same time (even though she has repeatedly told me straight out that she loves me for who I am, and not what I can give her, coming from a family where if she wanted something, she had to get/pay for it herself, she's 2.5 years younger by the way, and hoping to get into the same uni that I attend (2008 intake), to do a Bachelor of Education [Primary School]). I have already spoken to her about this, and all she could say is that she would support me in whatever I choose to do, as long as i'm happy. I DO NOT want to lose her, more importantly I do not want to dissapoint her, since she is truly in love with me (it's obvious to her parents, family friends, everyone, they've all said it, apparently she's the happiest she's ever been in the last 2 years).

I have always been attracted to the Police Force as a career (www.police.sa.gov.au), and have wanted to join for the last 3 years (I also see it as a sound and secure career choice, given what may be coming, and I have been told by many people that I seem to be, and look to be the right person for that kind of job). I am afraid though that this might be the last straw with my parents if I were to do so, especially due to the wage factors,etc (starting wage of AU$45,000 as a probationary constable). My father has no tertiary education, but has worked his way up from working in an Abbatoir in his early 20's, to a six figure salary as a manager for an Australian Petroleum company, due I have been told to his character, his personality, his integrity and his natural ability to work with and lead people). I also worry that I'd be seen as less of a person by them and others due to not completing a degree for the second time, and other worries, etc. It is primarily the worry of what may occur with my parents that is preventing me from making the move.

I also constantly worry now that I am 4 years behind the 8-ball, given that all of my class mates from high school that attended uni, will have graduated by now.

What can you all offer me in the way of advice?

Thankyou.
_________________
"That the cream cannot help but always rise up to the top, well I say, <censored by peakoil.com> floats"

Jarvis Cocker - "Running the World"

Heineken

Judgie, your first priority should be completing your academic degree. You have too much invested in that to throw it away now. Even if you don't work in that field, having the degree will give you a leg up for the rest of your life. Don't make the colossal mistake of not finishing the degree.

Don't worry about the time factor or where your former classmates are now. Don't evaluate yourself in terms of others! Believe me, you're ridiculously young and have all the time in the world. I say that from the vantage point of my 52nd birthday today.

Your second priority should be to own the fact that this is your life, not your parents' or anyone else's. Don't even consider spending the rest of your life doing what someone else thinks you should do and not what you want to do. You need to get out from under your parents' thumb; being there is now a long habit of yours extending back to infancy, but you must kick that habit to become truly adult and truly free.

Police work sounds like a good choice. You'll command a certain amount of authority and respect. Security work will be one of the last areas of employment to collapse post-peak. Also, you'll learn skills that could be very useful post-peak. Most important, it's just something you seem to want to do.

Politely listen to what others advise and collate the data, but you be the one to make the final choice, listening only to what's inside YOU.
_________________
"Actually, humans died out long ago."
---Abused, abandoned hunting dog

"Things have entered a stage where the only change that is possible is for things to get worse."
---Me and my brother

Shannymara · Master Joined: Oct 04, 2004 Posts: 5395 Location: Oklahoma

If you spend your life trying to please everyone else (your parents and girlfriend) instead of taking care of yourself by doing what makes you happy (as long as it's sane and healthy), you will never be happy. If they have unrealistic expectations of you that's their problem, not yours. You are not a child anymore. Make a life for yourself now.
_________________
"Every junkie's like a setting sun..." - Neil Young

kjmclark · Heavy Crude Joined: Dec 09, 2005 Posts: 318

If your parents are paying for your studies and you have less than two years to finish the degree, I think I'd stick it out and finish the environmental management program. If they aren't paying, or you have more than two years, I'd look into switching to a degree that would work for law enforcement. Remember that there are many specialties in law enforcement. Even environmental management has inspectors that may be technically law enforcement.

I would suggest you talk to some people in fields that look attractive to you, as well as people in the field you're studying now. I think they could give you better advice than your parents or us here.

roccman

Ferretlover

Judgie, you already recognise the problems. You already know the answers.
Do finish your year out. It would be wrong to waste the time, money and effort.
Sit your parents down, tell them you love and respect them (it seems obvious that you do care about their feelings), but you have given the situation a great deal of thought, and you have decided to change the course you are taking. Tell them how much you value their input and support, and that you know they want you to be happy, and this (whatever change you want to make) is what is going to make you happy and successful.
Then, just do it. Law enforcement can only increase in importance in the future we all predict here.
If your girlfriend really loves you, marry her-I can't stress how much having a significant other will enhance your life. They will be there to comfort, to bounce ideas off of, and watch your back. Two, working towards a common goal, are better than one trying to do it all.
_________________
"RRrrruuuunnnn!!!" ~Apocalypto

threadbear · Expert Joined: Jan 22, 2005 Posts: 7476

Just do what most of us did a few decades ago. Tell them to--umm--Back off.

Seriously. You HAVE to rebel. Dreadlock your hair, read Daniel Pinchbeck, trip out on entheogens, follow your bliss, travel the world while you can.

Zardoz

Listen to Heineken and Shanny.

(Get a damned degree. You'll really regret it if you don't. You'll find that life is a series of things we don't necessarily "enjoy" but have to do anyway. Finishing up in college is a super-biggie. Get it done and move on.)
_________________
"Thank you for attending the oil age. We're going to scrape what we can out of these tar pits in Alberta and then shut down the machines and turn out the lights. Goodnight." - seldom_seen

Shannymara · Master Joined: Oct 04, 2004 Posts: 5395 Location: Oklahoma

Rocc, Judgie is in either Australia or New Zealand, I think, not the States.
_________________
"Every junkie's like a setting sun..." - Neil Young

roccman

threadbear · Expert Joined: Jan 22, 2005 Posts: 7476

roccman

Judgie

You guys and girlss have no idea what it's like to just be able to talk about this with people and get something back, i feel just a bit better already!. As far as not evaluating myself in terms of others, my father has pointed out to me many times and still does, that i'm 4 years behind now and in my 23rd year of life while others are ahead, thats where that comes from, and it stuck to me after it hit home.

I know I should finish my degree and I did tell my girlfriend that that's what I would do on the night we talked. As you said, two year to go so I should stick it out. I did try to find out if the police force would allow part-time study at uni alongside initial training and then employment, but they refused to give me that kind of information unless i'd put in the application forms (we have a real crisis over here at the moment with the number of police we have, they're currently poaching them from England to maintain ranks. There is also this line in their promotional page on the website,

"Initial training at the Police Academy is linked to external tertiary qualifications and police will soon be able to work towards a degree while performing their job. Following graduation, police officers may continue study towards qualifications for promotion, embark on in service training courses and gain experience in general duties policing in preparation for their choice of career."

I have said to mates that in the future, depending on how far we don't fall, that they may well see what I call "The enviro-cop".

No, my parents are not paying for my studies, that's still a rare and unusual thing here in Australia unless you have quite rich parents who can afford to pay on an upfront full-fee basis. The majority of tertiary students study under the HELP Student Loan system. Also, I am still living at home at the moment , but really want to make the jump soon and move out (it would probably help in the mental and character building department), particularly since the girlfriend wants to do the same as she is fed up with hers. However, we need to find some prospective housemates with whom we could share the load of rent and bills on student wages before we do so.

I know they should be but I hope my grades for second semester are good, as I said, the depression (my parents are aware of the grades but no the cause, I think they'd freak or something) really wreaked havoc with my performance in first semester. But i'm doing a load better this time around, thats how it appears. Assignments in on time. Yes, I acknowledge that I must change my mindset regarding being under the thumb, this is where moving out, dealing with the bad and good it brings, would help).

No thanks Rocc, given what's about to go down over there Smile

And yes, I'm from the state of South Australia, Australia. Below the North Territory and squashed between Western Australia, Victoria and New South Wales.

You're absolutely right about listening to others and taking it all in! Just this morning, one of the regular customers at my work place (76 years of age) who I was talking to provided me with these word's of wisdom, "Money is worth nothing if you're not your own man. You need to be your own man".

Thanks all, I'm gonna try studying today with a different mind, and I won't forget what's been wrtitten here. The best thing about today is I make my quarterly blood donation today at 3PM. That always makes me feel good :D. We have less than half a million blood donors in Australia, to serve more than 21 million people.
_________________
"That the cream cannot help but always rise up to the top, well I say, <censored by peakoil.com> floats"

Jarvis Cocker - "Running the World"

Heineken

threadbear · Expert Joined: Jan 22, 2005 Posts: 7476