Like the illusion of Wall Street, with its vast and powerful investment banks, now shuttered, China too is an illusion perpetuated by the Globalists that gave us the 15,000 mile Caesar salad, poisoned cat food and lead based paint on babies' pacifiers. Like the illusion that money would come from thin air to always push housing prices higher, China has spent a generation pursuing its illusion. Pursuing an unattainable dream to be like the West, while 6000 years of its carefully shepherded top soil blows into the sea.
Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 11:00 pm Post subject: Re: Anyone lost a parent?
All grandparents dead by the time I was 10. Since then, lost my mother, two sisters and a brother. And a few good friends. Never goes away, but gets easier to deal with as time goes by.
My dad is still alive. He was a standard American dad growing up. Sucked. Had a brush with cancer when he was retiring and has made a 180 since then. I almost respect him now.
I believe that as long as we remember someone they are still here. Tell people about the ones you've lost. Bring up any good or inspiring thing they have done or said. My mother had a saying for every situation. I use them often. My favorite: That really gets my goat.
I never quite knew where that came from, but I keep it close. _________________ Civilization is a personal choice.
Posted: Wed Dec 05, 2007 11:03 pm Post subject: Re: Anyone lost a parent?
Yeahbut, I read somewhere a while back that there was no word or term for physical "child abuse", up until the 1940's. That was just how you brought up children. It was called being a parent. I guess fathers that merely withheld minimal praise are to be applauded for transcending beating their kids physically, preferring the sadism of a slow emotional death.
People do much more damage emotionally with that treatment than when they beat their kids half to death.
Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 4189 Location: 1st territorial capitol of AZ
Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 12:31 am Post subject: Re: Anyone lost a parent?
threadbear wrote:
Plants, Your parents ARE unique, the way you describe them. I think it goes beyond culture, unless you think that American culture is turning most people into sociopaths. Most people love their kids, even when they're a bit sociopathic. I mean, look at Tony Soprano.
You need to read the excellent book "Revenge Of The Latchkey Kids" by Ted Rall (full of his excellent cartoons too) it's an American thing, psychopathic and dehumanized is the normal American way now.
Joined: Dec 02, 2005 Posts: 6746 Location: Oil-addicted Southern Californucopia
Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 12:51 am Post subject: Re: Anyone lost a parent?
I_Like_Plants wrote:
...psychopathic and dehumanized is the normal American way now.
No, it is not.
I have a 37-year-old daughter and a 17-year-old son. Through them I've met the parents of hundreds of children over the years. I've come to know dozens of them very well. None of them, not one, is as you describe. _________________ "Thank you for attending the oil age. We're going to scrape what we can out of these tar pits in Alberta and then shut down the machines and turn out the lights. Goodnight." - seldom_seen
Joined: Dec 04, 2004 Posts: 2397 Location: perpetual state of exhaustion
Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 8:23 am Post subject: Re: Anyone lost a parent?
Spec: I am sorry for your loss. I can't relate since most of my life was spent wishing to god I'd been adopted or that they would die. But I can imagine how I'd feel if something happened to one of my kids and you have my deepest respects.
threadbear wrote:
uNkNowN ElEmEnt wrote:
He is the most self-centered, unbalanced, nut job, I've ever met.
Would you say he had a character defect, a neurosis, psychosis, addictions? I tried to diagnose my father and failed, though I'm convinced he did have some kind of sub-clinical condition that has mellowed with age.
I think most of his issues (which are quite similar to my mothers) had to do with having EXTREMELY abusive families. I think this stunted them in a most impossible to heal from way.
I think their early life had everything to do with it; if a child is beaten enough they will come to expect it and think they deserve it deep down. When they don't get it, they will feel more is wrong. (unless like me of course, they go the opposite and get scairy like the dog who will attack rather than go through that again)
But when you go through something like that, it has a chemical and neurological effect. your thoughts can literally reconfigure your neural pathways. this has been proven by science now.
It also creates a chemical imbalance. there is a clinic in sou. calif. that is treating addicitons, depression etc with amino acids, and has just a phenominal success rate. (if you want to know the name of the book they wrote about it let me know)
They were the baby boomers. they expected to get what they wanted and there is a huge pressure on them to keep what they got. I think that is where keeping up with the Jonses came from. A lot of them grew up just after the last crash too and I think the previous generation handed down a "poverty" mentality. There are a lot of things that go into it.
If a person has enough heart, I think they can get out of their own lives long enough to see that there are more than jsut them and their own little concerns on this planet. but it takes a brave soul to do it, and if you've had that beaten out of you already... well, that's about all she wrote.
Joined: Dec 04, 2004 Posts: 2397 Location: perpetual state of exhaustion
Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 8:28 am Post subject: Re: Anyone lost a parent?
Zardoz wrote:
I_Like_Plants wrote:
...psychopathic and dehumanized is the normal American way now.
No, it is not.
I have a 37-year-old daughter and a 17-year-old son. Through them I've met the parents of hundreds of children over the years. I've come to know dozens of them very well. None of them, not one, is as you describe.
If you had ever been the hotel clerk when a group of these sports parents stay at your hotel you would seriously beg to differ. OMFG!!!
Joined: Sep 29, 2004 Posts: 2330 Location: Pennsylvania, USA
Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 10:28 am Post subject: Re: Anyone lost a parent?
threadbear wrote:
Kingcoal wrote:
I had a lot of animosity towards my father for the way he treated us, but in the last couple of years before he died, I made him proud, graduating college and we reconciled. I realized that he was just a guy trying to keep a roof over our heads and put food on the table, "what the hell else do you want," was his attitude. It ain't easy to be a provider to a bunch of whiny, spoiled kids, I realize that now. When I remember him, I remember him that way, he never ran out on us, he stayed employed and took care of us.
Why would you want to make him proud? I don't get that.
Because he loved me. After we reconciled, my dad started to open up about his own childhood, which in comparison to mine, was pretty horrific. I was allowed to be a spoiled brat in comparison to the way my grandparents treated my dad. My dad was responsible and provided for us and from where he was coming from, that's all a father was expected to do. He was narrow minded, stubborn, domineering and sometimes unpredictable, but in comparison to his own upbringing, he was kind, generous and tolerant. Parents tend to compare the way they treat their kids to the way they were treated. Talk to your dad about it, about what it was like when he was growing up, it might open your eyes. _________________ "That's the problem with mercy, kid... It just ain't professional" - Fast Eddie, The Color of Money
Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 11:03 am Post subject: Re: Anyone lost a parent?
This past June Dad died.
Beat the living crap out of me... so many times I can't possibly recall.
Leather straps & wood.
I have never attended a public school that didn't beat me with wood either.
My own son is 18... had one spanking from me. Open hand on the butt 3 swats. He was about 7 or so & doing something dangerous.
Never again.
It's fine to say that dad was better than his dad in many ways... although I'm having a tough time thinking what he was subject to that was worse than being beaten with leather straps on a regular basis.
Then again... screw that.
It's the ego-centric, megalomania of these control freaks which has brought us to this current situation. The insane desire to control everything, and the arrogance to think that's possible.
In the end though... he was just a man doing what he thought was right.
Regardless of how very wrong it was.
May he rest peacefully. _________________ "When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours." - Stephen F Roberts.
Joined: Oct 04, 2004 Posts: 5695 Location: Body in OK, Heart in TX
Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 11:17 am Post subject: Re: Anyone lost a parent?
Aaron wrote:
In the end though... he was just a man doing what he thought was right.
Regardless of how very wrong it was.
Yeah, I feel a lot more serene about all that now that I've grown up enough to understand my parents. You can't say that (doing what they think is right) about everyone, but when you can it matters. Some things are hard to forgive but it hurts more not to.
bye dad _________________ "Every junkie's like a setting sun..." - Neil Young
Joined: Dec 04, 2004 Posts: 2397 Location: perpetual state of exhaustion
Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 11:27 am Post subject: Re: Anyone lost a parent?
I got off lucky. I only got sunlight dish detergent poured down my throat, or bars of soap scraped on my teeth. Whipped with a small bullwhip, or very thin leather belts. Made to kneel for hours on elbow macaroni. I got hit in the head enough etc. But I never had cigarettes put out on me, or stuck with pins like a voodoo doll.
I think at some point you just have to realize that some people are broken. And there isn't anything that can fix them, or help you with the memories.
All spanking does is teach that might does make right, and that if you don't wnat to have to use your brains or are frustrated that its ok to use your fists, and its especially ok to hurt someone smaller or weaker than you.
Like everything, its a choice. they made bad choices. we will hopefully make better ones. only history and time will tell.
Joined: Oct 04, 2004 Posts: 5695 Location: Body in OK, Heart in TX
Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 11:48 am Post subject: Re: Anyone lost a parent?
To be clear, my dad didn't physically abuse me (I've seen my share of violence and abuse but not from him). By "all that" I meant everything damaging parents did/can do. _________________ "Every junkie's like a setting sun..." - Neil Young
Joined: Dec 02, 2005 Posts: 6746 Location: Oil-addicted Southern Californucopia
Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 12:11 pm Post subject: Re: Anyone lost a parent?
uNkNowN ElEmEnt wrote:
...these sports parents...
What are you talking about? Where did that come from? _________________ "Thank you for attending the oil age. We're going to scrape what we can out of these tar pits in Alberta and then shut down the machines and turn out the lights. Goodnight." - seldom_seen
Joined: Jun 12, 2005 Posts: 4189 Location: 1st territorial capitol of AZ
Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 12:59 pm Post subject: Re: Anyone lost a parent?
Zardoz wrote:
I_Like_Plants wrote:
...psychopathic and dehumanized is the normal American way now.
No, it is not.
I have a 37-year-old daughter and a 17-year-old son. Through them I've met the parents of hundreds of children over the years. I've come to know dozens of them very well. None of them, not one, is as you describe.
Then I know your kids were raised Christian, probably Mormon or one of the most Conservative faiths. They, and the Amish, are the only groups I see raising somewhat normal kids in the US. It has to be a sub-culture that intentionally withdraws from the capitalist culture. I see a lot of really nice kids around here, and that's how they're being raised. There were some, a few, really nice kids around when I was a kid, all Christian, all raised Conservative as hell. I was not raised Christian, and the only branch of the faith I have any respect for is Identity Christianity, but the right-wing bad-ass Conservative Christianity is the only hope I see for us as a people.
Joined: Mar 18, 2005 Posts: 2691 Location: Minnesota
Posted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 1:26 pm Post subject: Re: Anyone lost a parent?
I lost my dad 1 year ago. He was the back bone AND central nervous system of our family...and I've been absolutely amazed how all my siblings have pulled together to get thru this...as well as my mom.
As for me, I miss my dad & have seen his grave several times now. there is certainly something missing (especially during the holidays) but I've been filling those gaps with more time spent with my mom, brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews...
I guess it's true that (if you allow it) when a door closes, other doors are open. _________________ Quis custodiet ipsos custodes.
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