Has PO strained your marriage/relationship?

Ang · Tar Sands Joined: Oct 31, 2007 Posts: 76

Loki: I'm sorry you don't like the word "partner". How about "companion"?!?
I do agree with you about the lack of curiosity, I wasn't curious about anything until my boyfriend talked to me about PO. However, I'd long been convinced that our system is fatally flawed and was ready to make changes.

Ludi: That's quite a burden, I'm ready to tear my hair out just hearing about it. Obviously we are all in the same spot, one way or another.
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...the rest of you just beat your useless gums at the moon like jimson weed goats. - efarmer

pstarr

Loki · Expert Joined: Apr 08, 2006 Posts: 976 Location: Cascadia

Pstarr, my capacity to suffer liberal PC jackasses such as yourself has peaked along with the world's oil production. Now I just call a spade a spade.

pstarr

Lumpy

I am not new to the Peak Oil forums - just new to posting here. My husband has been an active poster for a number of years, and frequently shares with me what he reads, as well as valuable links to good info.

My answer to the question posed here is "yes".

The reason is that I am less prone to worry about peak oil, and more prone to do accept what is coming, and do what can be done on a personal level.

This is not to say that I never worry. For example, as a medical practitioner, I am concerned that if the "sudden crash and burn" way of thinking is correct (which I don't think it will be), a lot of people in need of meds could be in a lot of trouble - ugly, painful trouble.

I also worry about our kids, all of whom understand the concept of peak oil, and none of whom are actively involved in doing anything to situate themselves to be prepared.

Fortunately for them and us, my husband and I were able to buy a small farm a few years ago. It was very, very neglected land, but has plenty of artesian water, and excellent soil. There is much to be done before it will be self-sustaining. But then there will be room and sufficient food production for the kids, the spouses of the two who are married (so far), and the grandkids -- plus any more spouses and/or grandkids that arrive.

We are planning toward 2010 for self-sustenance in great part, and 2012 for off the grid, or mostly off the grid ... we hope.

What I find to be causing strain is that I am one who wants to know, then wants to plan, then wants to take action. I do not focus my energies on the big picture. I focus my energies on what actually can be done, right here, by us, in this household. (That includes sharing peak oil info with other people education-wise, but then letting it go if they choose not to acknowledge, respond, do anything with the info.)

My husband wants to do the same, but often becomes overwhelmed by the big picture -- the HUGE picture -- of the impact of peak oil. (He is also much more troubled than I am about people not listening when we try to share the reality about peak oil with them.) This being overwhelmed puts a real strain on things between us, because instead of consistently spurring him on toward greater action to accomplish our plans, it seems to paralyze him at times. Just the opposite of my response.

I think that his continuing to study and read more and more and more about what he and I both already know to be true (peak oil) just makes him affirmed in that knowledge, but not significantly more knowledgeable. And it certainly does not help in any practical way towards the doing of what needs to be done ... which in our case is now more important than the knowing of WHY it needs to be done.

Once you know it, you know it. Get on with it.

There is LOTS of valuable info on the peak oil forums, which I really appreciate hearing about. We have learned lots from links other people here have provided, for example.

But ongoing, often over-the-top expenditure of time-and-personal-energy (of all kinds ... mental, physical, spirtual, emotional) into talking, posting, reading and ruminating about all the terrible things that might well happen -- well, to me that is counterproductive to preparing. I see that happen with him, and I'll bet it happens with lots of other folks, too.

THAT puts a strain on things around here.

RedStateGreen

Has PO strained my marriage? I try not to let it.

My husband, as most of you know, doesn't think things will ever be very different than they are now. He just dropped ten grand on a HDTV and a home theater system. Rolling Eyes

Fortunately we have the money (we got out of the SoCal housing bubble at the top and moved east, making a nice bit of cash in the deal while buying a bigger house on more land), so we don't have financial arguments. He doesn't care about my preparation purchases either. Laughing

I read articles to him about various things going on. I think it's starting to sink in that things might head south soon.

Along in all this I realized that I like being outdoors and working with my hands, and I like learning new stuff. So life is good. Smile

_________________
What, so I'm in no end game
Move my piece right off the board

Auntie_Cipation · Tar Sands Joined: Aug 18, 2005 Posts: 76

Ayoob · Expert Joined: Jul 15, 2004 Posts: 1026

threadbear · Expert Joined: Jan 22, 2005 Posts: 7063

Partner is okay.

It would be great if the title could reflect the state of the relationship, too. I think many people consider their partners a cost rather than a benefit, so how about "significant bother" instead of significant other?

roccman

hubbertspeak7777777 · Heavy Crude Joined: Mar 07, 2007 Posts: 467

Narz

hubbertspeak7777777 · Heavy Crude Joined: Mar 07, 2007 Posts: 467

JJ · Heavy Crude Joined: Aug 07, 2007 Posts: 277

Ang · Tar Sands Joined: Oct 31, 2007 Posts: 76

I share the mindset with everybody here that just wants to dig in and be prepared. I think there is a ton of useful information on this forum and at the same time, I see from the posts here that there are quite a few people overwhelmed with "the big picture".

Lumpy: I agree with you, I just want to get stuff done and make life as good as it can be. If I sit and think about the million reasons why my family and I might not make it post-peak, there would be no reason to carry on. BTW, thanks for your post!!!

Partner, BF, GF, Roll Dog, Fark Buddy (WTH?) ????

How about Wingman? That's the person that's got your back, right?
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...the rest of you just beat your useless gums at the moon like jimson weed goats. - efarmer