How does worrying help things?

threadbear · Expert Joined: Jan 22, 2005 Posts: 7778

Great thread. Wonderful advice. I think mild agitation and arousal are the features of a creative mind, that will always be running potential future scenarios through it's imagination. We just have to watch the extremes, like gut wrenching fear, in reaction to the improbable, or fretting, when there is truly nothing we can do about the reality of a situation.

My worst brush with worry, gut wrenching fear was when I was 7 years old, and through a series of unintentional screw-ups, on the part of my parents, I was left in a strange town, alone at night, locked outside of my motel, in the dark, for hours.

I'd never been left alone before, ever, and became completely hysterical--as in babbling incoherently with worry and fear.... Fear of being alone and worry that my family hadn't returned because they'd all died in a car crash. I can remember thinking that there was absolutely nothing I could do, and that I simply couldn't stand the intense worry, so I'd have to think about it in such a way that I wouldn't go mad. So I began to think of how lucky I was to have avoided such a fate, and everytime I started to worry about them all dead, I'd stop myself and think...but I'm alive.

When they finally arrived home at about 10 pm. They'd left at about 4 pm, I was as cool as a cucumber. They had no idea what I'd gone through.
I recovered, somewhat, but can revert to this state, if need be. It's actually kind of creepy. It makes me seem remarkably cold, at times, but it's a true protective mechanism.

Pops

Good thread Ludi, great replies.

Visualizing eventualities is a good way to decide the best course/method/plan.

Worry is merely fantasizing about the worst outcome…
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Make a plan and work it:

Pops

Wow, TB, that is tough. Thanks for putting that out.

I don’t feel comfortable talking on a message board about what situations taught me how to put my emotions down, but I agree, it is a learned skill – or habit I guess.
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Make a plan and work it:

Revi · Fusion Joined: Apr 25, 2005 Posts: 3509 Location: Maine

Worry can be a motivator, but it can be a very counterproductive state. I find that I worry about things, but then I start to do something about a situation. Like today, I sent our evaporator plugs up to the guy who made our maple syrup evaporator. He promised to fix them or send us some new ones. I am waiting for them, but now it's done. No sense in worrying about that one for a little while.

There seems to be a mountain of things to worry about. I try to fix things so that I don't have to worry about as many things. I have to let go of some things. This is my only religion. When things get to be too much I ask for a little pressure relief. I find that when I let go of it after a night's sleep or a little while things seem to lighten up. I don't know if it's caused by a higher power or not, but it's a relief.
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Ludi

Thank you all for the insights.

I wish I were that lazy man who doesn't do anything, or has someone to take care of him, or is rich and has all taken care of! Shocked

Still, I do not cultivate worry, as I find it counterproductive, personally. (others obviously have other experiences).
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Waterthrush

On the whole I think the negatives of worry outweigh the positives. Physically, worry doesn't feel good.

But it's hard to stop. For me, it's taken on some aspects of a psychological defense. I'd like to try living without it! Maybe it's one of those 15 minutes at a time things.

POAlex