Leaving the Family

Nicholai · Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 12:12 am Post subject: Leaving the Family

I'm 19 years old. My Mom calls my sweetie and usually has pancakes waiting for me in the fridge when I sleep in late on weekends. She does my laundry and folds my clothes. My Dad's a Fireman, my uncles and Fireman, my cousins a Fireman and my Grandpa was a Fireman. I'm expected to do the same. My Dad takes us out for fishing trips and teaches me how to shoot a gun and operate a chain saw. I have some great siblings, a nice house, a beautiful yard, a nice suburban city, a job with the provincial government and a job as a waiter at the fanciest restaurant in the city. What more could I ask for.

In a month and a half I'm going to drop everything and leave for Calgary to visit my Professor's ecovillage. After this, I'll go to Quebec to visit an ecovillage south of Quebec City.

It never really dawned on me up until now but there is a growing possibility that I will never live in this house again. I could be gone forever. I'm excited for the new experience but it never really settled in up until now. I heard Richard Heinberg say something of the same tune quite recently. The ideas he talked about were so abstract 3 or 4 years ago but now, as oil prices skyrocket and the sub prime crisis deepens, his speculation has finally come to fruition. It adds an air of panic to my plans. $250 oil in one years time.....I'm so lucky to be in the position I'm in....

I've saved up a little over $10,000.00 and although it isn't a great deal of money, I think my options are MUCH better than the vast majority of the population in both Canada and the US. The ecovillage in Quebec is selling 1-acre parcels of land for $20,000.00 and I'm hoping I can put a down payment to the ecovillage director of a few thousand dollars and build my Cob house by the end of 2009. I have a book on Cob construction ordered at Chapters and it should be delivered within the next few days.

I'm getting more and more nervous and I'm starting to question my pessimism. I know I'm right to leave. Mother Culture has been whispering in my ear and it's hard to shut it out. When your friends are buying nice cars, dating pretty girls and going to parties, I'm looking at building a mud hut in the boonies of French Canada. To conclude, the psyche has been, and will continue to be, a difficult beast to tame.

I just needed to vent.

Kingcoal · Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 6:06 am Post subject: Re: Leaving the Family

You're doing great, Nicholai. My advice is that since you are young, stay mobile for a while and be free. Putting down roots is for when you are older and married. Go out into the world and enjoy yourself for a couple of years. I'm not saying that you go wild and blow all your time and money. I'm just saying that in your time off from school, have fun, sow your wild oats. There is plenty of time for putting down roots later.

I say this because I have some friends, Engineers, who aren't very social and they married the first girl who smiled at them and put down roots too early. Now that they are approaching middle age, they regret not playing the field when they were younger. They have a lot of immature illusions of what it would have been like and it seems to affect their marriage. A couple of them even got divorced only to find that they missed that party. It's a right of passage when you are younger, so claim your rights. When you are older and married, you can occasionally reflect back on your wild years and crack a little smile.
_________________
"That's the problem with mercy, kid... It just ain't professional" - Fast Eddie, The Color of Money

Windmills · Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 7:44 am Post subject: Re: Leaving the Family

Blood is thicker than water. I'd stay with my family and try to weather the storm there rather than buy into an ecovillage. Living might be friendly there at first, but will those flimsy bonds shatter under real stress? I think an extended family is a much better bet. What will happen when things get really bad in that village? Will the families of all the other villagers suddenly show up, overfilling the lifeboat? What alliances will form when times start to get tough, and will you be left out in the cold? You sound like you have a great family. I think that is one of the best yet most overlooked assets on this board. They will multiply your resources and reduce redundancy in needed items. I'm sure your family will look after you and protect you in the future. You can't be sure about a bunch of idealistic strangers.

katnipkid · Tar Sands Joined: May 30, 2007 Posts: 36

Here's my 10 cents worth:

What ever you do, hold on to the 10 grand. Or, at least, spend it wisely when you do spend it. That is amazing that at your age you have the discipline and wisdom to save your money. I sure didn't when I was 19. There are guys, and gals,too, that "sowed their wild oats" and STILL are unable to make ANY dreams come true because they never saved any money or got caught up chasing idiotic ideals and pursuing consumeristic goals. Some of these folks are in middle age or beyond! So what good are their dreams, huh? Are they bitter and disillusioned? YUP! To this day, they don't have the foresight or discipline to save cash. Some are only one paycheck away from financial disaster.

I am only expressing my opinion. What you do with your life and money is your business.Those are desicions only you can make. I don't want to tell you to do or not to do anything with your life and money. However, I hope you think twice before you blow all your cash going out having a good time. It is possible to have tons of fun without spending lots of cash. In my opinion, the "system" wants people to turn into mindless consumers of soulless garbage cranked out purely for profit by companies that care only for one thing- getting YOUR money and the environment or your well being be darned. Ever notice this? Most young folks don't, and laugh when an old timer points it out to them. If you ever work in retailing you will see what I mean.

Share your concerns with your parents and family. They are the best people to talk to.

jlw61 · Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 8:00 am Post subject: Re: Leaving the Family

My two cents is go up there, LEARN EVERYTHING YOU CAN, and come home. Then take some time to decide. You may want to start an ecovillage in the states near your family. And believe me, with the family you describe, you want to be near them.
_________________
When somebody makes a statement you don't understand, don't tell him he's crazy. Ask him what he means. -- Otto Harkaman, Space Viking

vilemerchant · Tar Sands Joined: Jul 07, 2008 Posts: 69

Preparing for PO is fine, but it doesn't mean you should give up sexing those pretty girls.

Daphne64 · Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 11:47 am Post subject: Re: Leaving the Family

pstarr · Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 12:24 pm Post subject: Re: Leaving the Family

RedStateGreen · Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 12:25 pm Post subject: Re: Leaving the Family

hope_full · Heavy Crude Joined: May 27, 2008 Posts: 173

vilemerchant · Tar Sands Joined: Jul 07, 2008 Posts: 69

FoxV · Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:09 pm Post subject: Re: Leaving the Family

vetusfirma · Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:21 pm Post subject: Re: Leaving the Family

The Eco village will be great adventures, and you will have few enough of those in the future. Heed the advice about your family. Villages are really just large families, and if you weren't borne there, you aren't from there. If you don't believe that just look at how they treat newbies on this site. So stick with family and those you know.

Good luck to you.
_________________
HOLDING THE CENTER

Devin · Heavy Crude Joined: Apr 07, 2008 Posts: 166

I tried something similar and though I was accepted for residency, after three weeks I'd had enough.

People were there to reduce consumption and save the world, and the community stuff was secondary.

If you decide to stay in an ecovillage, go because you love the people there and want to spend the rest of your life with them. You are basically making a family-level commitment to these people, and in your case you're even considering choosing these people over your family. But they're strangers, at least right now, and being afraid of a collapse is a really shitty reason to make this commitment.

So my suggestion based on my personal experience is to at the very least plan to include your family, at least until you establish strong relationships with the people there for reasons OTHER than fear of PO and its ramifications. Otherwise, you're leaving behind everyone that's important to you for no good reason.

I'm building my cob house in my backyard where I grew up, and I have to say this opportunity is easily worth the years of painful discussions and arguments with my parents it took to get where I am.

Nicholai · Posted: Wed Jul 16, 2008 2:13 am Post subject: Re: Leaving the Family

Quebecers are slightly looked down upon by some English Canadians as being too concerned about themselves (selfish). From the opposite standpoint, Quebecers have always had, and continue to have, a strong sense of community.

I talk to my Dad about peak oil and climate change on almost a daily basis. As I stated in a previous post, he understands the facts, the figures, the forecasts and all the rest...but to him, these problems are entirely abstract.

I'll need to see the ecovillage first hand and spend several weeks (possibly a few months) in Mont Radar before I make my decision.

As well, I will be seeing my professors ecovillage near Calgary before I leave for Quebec. My Prof is VERY aware of whats to come and has a wealth of knowledge that I cease to envy.

Remember, I'm basing my actions on the assumption that we will see $200 oil by 2009. Within 8-12 months. That gives me very little time to buckle down before major changes start to take place. If there's a time to make tough decisions, that time is now.

But again, the input is greatly appreciated. The differing perspectives are exactly what I'm looking for.