Lost a relationship or marriage over peak oil?

alokin · Intermediate Crude Joined: Aug 24, 2007 Posts: 598

If you get divorced because of PO you would get divorced anyway. My husband believes a bit in PO but not too much. It would be rather boring if both think exactly the same.
But he likes the lifestyle, preparing for PO, but we would live like this anyway, gardening, chicken and simple.
The only thing he did not agree was to leave his well paid job and move to the country - maybe it was wise - and live like his grandmother did.

A relationship must stand different opinions, however if one likes all sort of luxury and spending and the other is more frugal this can cause difficulties.

Pops

Sorry to hear about your troubles Tanada.

If it were me I would do whatever possible to not get attorneys involved - the more rancor the more billable hours. Sorry I can't be more helpful...

As well your spat too Kathy.

I guess the only thing I can think is Carlin might be seeing the effects of the things you have been quietly preparing for these years and is perhaps feeling a little of the stuff most of us felt when it comes to dawn.

He denied, then negotiated (by helping out on some projects) and is perhaps now getting angry that your forecast might have had some truth.

I don't really know but I do know that lots of times guys will get defensive when his plan turns out to be incorrect. And like you say the added stress of providing for the new kids in an shaky economy is an added stress.

If I remember he works of the farm and you work at home, just from my experience brining in the bacon can be a load, not to diminish your part of the load in any way. Point is I feel much more control growing food than I do working for a wage or in fact selling into a market.

We sold some steers at the auction last week and I was pretty frustrated when we got the check. In fact, we had one 600# Guernsey steer that brought $203 - the Holsteins were of course better but disappointing as well.

My point is that I mopped around for a day or two second guessing myself, my plans and my options to do better and perhaps that is what Carlin is feeling lately. If I'm totally off just ignore me Smile

As you know I am expert at nothing, kid, just thinking out loud.

Hang in there, otherwise you'll have to change your handle!
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Make a plan and work it:

CarlinsDarlin · Moderator Joined: Jul 02, 2004 Posts: 1307

Pops,
You know I always value your advice and input. You may be right and there's an element of that anger lately. It's not that he's got the anger that I view as a problem. Rather it's how he deals with it that we need to work on. I'm not planning on changing my handle just yet, but there are times when I want an alternate one for the day Smile

.

We've got some stuff to work through, but like SCF said, I'm too damn loyal - not planning to go anywhere. I suppose all marriages have their ups and downs. Having been through one bad one prior to Carlin, I've learned a lot about how NOT to handle disputes.

We have some talking to do, still, and a few more bumps to iron out, but I think (I'm pretty sure, actually) he's just as stuck as I am - in a good way. We love each other, but occasionally we just have to butt heads. This weekend was one of those times.

Thanks for your support.
Kathy

FreakOil

I feel like a bit of a jerk writing about my petty problems, but I thought it might help to get it all out. I have my own Peak Oil break-up story. I just got done talking to her, and it's officially over between us.

She understands the crises ahead, but simply doesn't want to do anything about it. That's the frustrating thing. Peak Oil, global warming, food shortages, overpopulation, environmental degradation, aquifier depletion; she knows about it all but prefers to stick her head in the sand and "think positive." She didn't want me to talk about it at all. Now is clearly the time to act, as if the writing wasn't on the wall already.

We had so much in common, too. It took me so long to meet someone who enjoys all the things I do. She even wanted me to teach her how to fish. It just seems impossible to find someone like her these days. She has so many other wonderful qualities that it would be demeaning to simply write them in a list.

I'm leaving Hong Kong soon to continue my journey. I'll be studying permaculture in Thailand, doing some freelance writing and living on the cheap. But I'm leaving China with a heavy heart.
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"We shall live in interesting times, and we shall die in them too." - Heineken

ShinyOldLady

Mr. Freak Oil,

I was sorry to hear about your breakup. I have friends that just glaze over and shut down when confronted by problems that are just too bizarre or extreme to handle. I was talking to one of my best friends about a donation to a rescue group that works with animals and I noticed she was really blank when pictures of dogs saved from fighting rings were on the screen, etc. In fact, if you asked her about them, she didn't even recall them. I think it's just a coping mechanism. But she's good in a pinch, cuz she does what I tell her to do, without questions. She just can't be the decision making, organizing leader.

Maybe its ok to have good followers around. They are trusting you to do their thinking for them in circumstances like that, but maybe they realize their own weaknesses and that's how they are making up for it. Maybe she could be a good follower for you? I'm older and get tired of being alone sometimes. Maybe you could settle for not perfect and still have a good thing there.

Ferretlover

threadbear · Expert Joined: Jan 22, 2005 Posts: 6906

threadbear · Expert Joined: Jan 22, 2005 Posts: 6906

anagami