Joined: Dec 27, 2004 Posts: 12473 Location: zombie horde wonderland
Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 1:14 pm Post subject: Re: Depression
mos6507 wrote:
Ludi wrote:
BigTex wrote:
Has your life been easy psychologically?
No, because I have a mental illness.
??
Yeah, manic depression (bipolar). Been posting about it here for years...
My sis does also, but much worse (frequent hospitalizations). Also our grandma did, almost certainly (not diagnosed, though). _________________ No original ideas are contained in this post.
Joined: Aug 03, 2006 Posts: 4264 Location: Graceland
Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 1:22 pm Post subject: Re: Depression
Ludi wrote:
BigTex wrote:
Has your life been easy psychologically?
No, because I have a mental illness.
That's the point I am making. Having a life that ought to be easy, or that outwardly appears to be easy doesn't really tell you that much about someone's actual life experience.
Thus, the slave may be happy as a clam and the master a neurotic mess.
Ludi, I'm only focusing on you because you often talk about how you have had a pretty easy life, but I don't really think you have, though obviously there is a lot to be said for never having had to skip a meal because there wasn't any food. _________________
Joined: Dec 27, 2004 Posts: 12473 Location: zombie horde wonderland
Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 1:30 pm Post subject: Re: Depression
BigTex wrote:
Ludi, I'm only focusing on you because you often talk about how you have had a pretty easy life, but I don't really think you have, though obviously there is a lot to be said for never having had to skip a meal because there wasn't any food.
Thank you. I always wondered, before I got diagnosed, why my life seemed so hard when I knew it was actually very easy! I've had few life traumas compared to many people, but seemed to struggle so much with feelings of despair and inadequacy, and many painful physical symptoms though my health was mostly good (other than high blood pressure at a young age). It was a huge relief to finally find out why I had been struggling so much. I actually resisted for years the idea that I might have something seriously wrong with me because I "wasn't that important" - I couldn't have anything seriously wrong with me, being as unimportant as I was. I thought I was just "weak." Ignoring the problem for so long I finally got ill enough to get diagnosed, which was an enormous event in my life, both negative but also positive. Now I can understand and accept myself in a way I couldn't before.
I think in some ways situational depression (that brought on by life events and traumas), might be more difficult to deal with because it is outside of oneself and therefore in some ways more "out of control." _________________ No original ideas are contained in this post.
Joined: Jan 02, 2008 Posts: 403 Location: out dispatching ronan...
Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 5:13 pm Post subject: Re: Depression
BigTex wrote:
When trying to navigate choppy seas, the question is what the ideal port would look like. For many, the ideal port is simply a comfortable delusion that explains hardship in terms that provides wholeness or meaning to the struggle.
For others, the ideal port is something like a real solution to the root cause of the problem of choppy seas. These people don't want to escape reality, they want to change reality so that it doesn't need to be escaped.
Joined: Sep 02, 2005 Posts: 2961 Location: In a Nigerian compound surrounded by mighty dignataries
Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 5:17 pm Post subject: Re: Depression
Hagakure_Leofman wrote:
BigTex wrote:
When trying to navigate choppy seas, the question is what the ideal port would look like. For many, the ideal port is simply a comfortable delusion that explains hardship in terms that provides wholeness or meaning to the struggle.
For others, the ideal port is something like a real solution to the root cause of the problem of choppy seas. These people don't want to escape reality, they want to change reality so that it doesn't need to be escaped.
Well said
Ships are safe in the harbor, but that's not what they are made for. _________________ In other words, it's a huge sh*t sandwich, and we're all gonna have to take a bite.-from Full Metal Jacket
Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 5:38 pm Post subject: Re: Depression
[quote="Ludi"]
BigTex wrote:
I think in some ways situational depression (that brought on by life events and traumas), might be more difficult to deal with because it is outside of oneself and therefore in some ways more "out of control."
Ludi, in your experience with depression, do you think you may navigate difficult times brought on by situations better than a lot of people who have not struggled with a more "chronic" depression (that caused by a chemical imbalance)? My brother, who was diagnosed with depression/anxiety at quite a young age, is able to bring comfort to others experiencing situational depression, even though he struggles day-to-day with his own illness. I'm sure it must be partly empathy, but I'm thinking it goes deeper than that.
Joined: Dec 27, 2004 Posts: 12473 Location: zombie horde wonderland
Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 5:49 pm Post subject: Re: Depression
Wildrose, I'm not at all convinced of my ability to weather difficult times. I seem to have very little reserves, and get worn down quickly by any kind of stress or fatigue. I'm also afraid I'm not very good at dealing with others when they are deeply depressed (such as my sister). I'm quite ashamed of this, and wish I were better at it. Though I empathize very much with people who are depressed, at the same time I have very little patience with people who can't or won't learn to manage or live with their illness, and who continue the cycle of overdoing it and then crashing (typical behavior of bipolars I guess), even though I know this is possibly merely a symptom of their illness. So I get frustrated and short-tempered. I'm glad your brother is able to help other people, he must be a very patient and empathic person. _________________ No original ideas are contained in this post.
Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 6:13 pm Post subject: Re: Depression
Ludi wrote:
Wildrose, I'm not at all convinced of my ability to weather difficult times. I seem to have very little reserves, and get worn down quickly by any kind of stress or fatigue. I'm also afraid I'm not very good at dealing with others when they are deeply depressed (such as my sister). I'm quite ashamed of this, and wish I were better at it. Though I empathize very much with people who are depressed, at the same time I have very little patience with people who can't or won't learn to manage or live with their illness, and who continue the cycle of overdoing it and then crashing (typical behavior of bipolars I guess), even though I know this is possibly merely a symptom of their illness. So I get frustrated and short-tempered. I'm glad your brother is able to help other people, he must be a very patient and empathic person.
Ludi, I really admire your honesty and the ability you have in articulating your feelings.
Yes, my brother is very patient, that is one of his greatest strengths, both in listening to others and getting through life with his difficult illness. Sadly, many members of our family (me included) don't always have patience with his illness. It creates some difficult family dynamics, too. I'm sure we could all benefit from some counseling in this regard.
Joined: Dec 27, 2004 Posts: 12473 Location: zombie horde wonderland
Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 6:17 pm Post subject: Re: Depression
Thank you, Wildrose.
WildRose wrote:
I'm sure we could all benefit from some counseling in this regard.
I tried to get my family to go to counseling so we could learn to talk about our problems and deal with them more effectively. I mean, here we're talking about a family who has two people with bipolar disorder, one severely brain damaged person, one who is quite paranoid, and another who is pathologically avoidant (faints when something unpleasant is discussed). These people need to learn to face their problems! But no, my father and step-mother came once to family counseling and refused to go again. I continued going to counseling on my own for a little while. _________________ No original ideas are contained in this post.
Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 6:36 pm Post subject: Re: Depression
Ludi wrote:
Thank you, Wildrose.
WildRose wrote:
I'm sure we could all benefit from some counseling in this regard.
I tried to get my family to go to counseling so we could learn to talk about our problems and deal with them more effectively. I mean, here we're talking about a family who has two people with bipolar disorder, one severely brain damaged person, one who is quite paranoid, and another who is pathologically avoidant (faints when something unpleasant is discussed). These people need to learn to face their problems! But no, my father and step-mother came once to family counseling and refused to go again. I continued going to counseling on my own for a little while.
Sorry to hear that, Ludi. A person can gain some insight from counseling on their own, but what you're up against (with family members with varying illnesses) would require more of them to take part, certainly.
Joined: Dec 27, 2004 Posts: 12473 Location: zombie horde wonderland
Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 6:44 pm Post subject: Re: Depression
The insight I finally gained was that I have to accept them on their own terms, that I can't make them into the people I want them to be, nor would I want them to try to make me into the person they want me to be. So I acceded to the way things are, but, with the proviso (my agreement with myself) that I wouldn't allow myself to be "squashed" but would be myself around them to the best of my ability. So far, it's going ok, nothing weird has happened in awhile. _________________ No original ideas are contained in this post.
Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 6:58 pm Post subject: Re: Depression
Ludi wrote:
BigTex wrote:
Ludi, I'm only focusing on you because you often talk about how you have had a pretty easy life, but I don't really think you have, though obviously there is a lot to be said for never having had to skip a meal because there wasn't any food.
Thank you. I always wondered, before I got diagnosed, why my life seemed so hard when I knew it was actually very easy! I've had few life traumas compared to many people, but seemed to struggle so much with feelings of despair and inadequacy, and many painful physical symptoms though my health was mostly good (other than high blood pressure at a young age). It was a huge relief to finally find out why I had been struggling so much. I actually resisted for years the idea that I might have something seriously wrong with me because I "wasn't that important" - I couldn't have anything seriously wrong with me, being as unimportant as I was. I thought I was just "weak." Ignoring the problem for so long I finally got ill enough to get diagnosed, which was an enormous event in my life, both negative but also positive. Now I can understand and accept myself in a way I couldn't before.
I think in some ways situational depression (that brought on by life events and traumas), might be more difficult to deal with because it is outside of oneself and therefore in some ways more "out of control."
What you wrestled with is the most difficult situation of all. Thank God you got a diagnosis that dignifies the anguish. I had an ongoing unrelenting anxiety/ depressive thing in adolescence which subsided when I hit my early twenties. I was still messed up, but not hopeless for a few years, when I got hit with a chronic physical illness. Any time I feel trapped, frustrated, physically tested to the limits, I just think back to my teen years and it instantly checks my perspective. If you can get through the ego devastation and dysphoria of mental and emotional pain, you can get through anything.
Joined: Aug 03, 2006 Posts: 4264 Location: Graceland
Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 9:06 pm Post subject: Re: Depression
Ludi wrote:
Wildrose, I'm not at all convinced of my ability to weather difficult times. I seem to have very little reserves, and get worn down quickly by any kind of stress or fatigue. I'm also afraid I'm not very good at dealing with others when they are deeply depressed (such as my sister). I'm quite ashamed of this, and wish I were better at it. Though I empathize very much with people who are depressed, at the same time I have very little patience with people who can't or won't learn to manage or live with their illness, and who continue the cycle of overdoing it and then crashing (typical behavior of bipolars I guess), even though I know this is possibly merely a symptom of their illness. So I get frustrated and short-tempered. I'm glad your brother is able to help other people, he must be a very patient and empathic person.
Ludi, it's ironic that you describe yourself the way you do because you come across here as pretty sturdy psychologically.
There are times you even strike me as the peakoil.com equivalent of a bartender. You listen, provide even-keeled feedback and stay more or less balanced.
You're like all of us and have to break out the lumber occasionally, but for the most part you're pretty reliable. _________________
Joined: Aug 03, 2006 Posts: 4264 Location: Graceland
Posted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 9:08 pm Post subject: Re: Depression
PrairieMule wrote:
Hagakure_Leofman wrote:
BigTex wrote:
When trying to navigate choppy seas, the question is what the ideal port would look like. For many, the ideal port is simply a comfortable delusion that explains hardship in terms that provides wholeness or meaning to the struggle.
For others, the ideal port is something like a real solution to the root cause of the problem of choppy seas. These people don't want to escape reality, they want to change reality so that it doesn't need to be escaped.
Well said
Ships are safe in the harbor, but that's not what they are made for.
That's an excellent point.
Better to get a little dinged up living than to keep the carpet clean but never have any fun. _________________
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Though I empathize very much with people who are depressed, at the same time I have very little patience with people who can't or won't learn to manage or live with their illness, and who continue the cycle of overdoing it and then crashing (typical behavior of bipolars I guess), even though I know this is possibly merely a symptom of their illness. So I get frustrated and short-tempered. 
I'm glad your brother is able to help other people, he must be a very patient and empathic person. 
