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Peakoil.com :: View topic - Expect the Unexpected
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Expect the Unexpected

 
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CarlinsDarlin
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 15, 2005 8:29 pm    Post subject: Expect the Unexpected Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

I learned this past week that the best planning anyone can do for the future is one thing - Expect the Unexpected. My life could have very suddenly changed 180 degrees. But thankfully, this was just a wake up call.

On Friday (one week ago today) my husband and I were awakened at 1:00 am by someone pounding on the front door. Carlin ran to see who it was (with his pistol in hand). When he saw it was a family acquaintance, he opened the door. She said that she was on her way to an accident scene, about 9 miles from our home. My sister's car was involved in the wreck, and they were cutting people from the car. My heart sank.

We drove in thick fog (part of what caused the accident), to the accident scene, and the car was completely unrecognizable, except for the rear passenger door. It was crumpled everywhere. The paramedic on site said they had just taken my sister to a nearby hospital by ambulance, and they could not tell me anything about the other passengers in the vehicle.

We drove 45 minutes to the hospital and arrived about 10 minutes behind the ambulance. My sister had torn her spleen, had internal bleeding, and a gash on her head that required 7 staples. This is in addition to multiple smaller lacerations, bruises, and a broken big toe on her right foot. Thankfully the bleeding stopped and they did not have to operate to remove her spleen. She just got home from the hospital today.

Unfortunately for the rest (and for those of us who lost loved ones), of the 5 passengers in the vehicle, my sister was the only survivor. She was sitting at the rear passenger door, and was the only person in the vehicle wearing a seatbelt. Three of the other four were thrown from the vehicle, and one was partially ejected. She lost her best friend since childhood, and three other friends. All but one of the friends in the car was a parent. Her best friend was a single parent (as is my sister). One other friend was a newly wed with a 3 month old son. It was a tragedy of the worst kind, and has deeply affected our small community. We are blessed in our family in that while we had to deal with hospital visits, we did not have to plan funerals.

Sunday last weekend (2 days after my sister's accident), we had to take my father to the emergency room (different hospital) because he was having difficulty breathing. He suffers from COPD and is apparently in the beginning stages of emphysema. Thankfully, my father did improve and was released yesterday.

For the last week, at least one, and many days 2 of my sister's 3 children stayed with us. I have learned to operate my schedule and chores around a 2 year old. It's been educational for me, and enjoyable too, to spend time with my nephews. In fact, even though my sister is home today (staying with mom and dad and still very sore), the 2 year old wanted to come stay with us tonight. He sure likes his Uncle Carlin Smile.

Anyway, sorry for the rambling, but this past week has taught me one important lesson about my planning for the future. We have a tendency to plan with X parameters in mind. My plan was always to take care of me and Carlin, and provide some extra to help out other family members who would surely need it. What I didn't count on was that very suddenly, our household might double in size given a tragedy like befell my sister's friends. We cannot anticipate everything, no doubt, but the need of having a plan B, and a plan C and a "worst case scenario" plan suddenly seems a lot more clear to me.

By the time things get economically very hard for us and everyone around us, my father may indeed no longer be with us. That means we will be charged with maintaining not only our land and house, but my parents' home and land as well. God forbid something should happen to my brother or sister - if that did, I might well end up taking care of, helping out with, or raising my nephews and neices (brother's 2 kids are teens now - sisters kids are 5, 2 and 1 year old.)

So, in the "What I Learned" category, it can be summed up as: Life can change in an instant. Don't take anything for granted, plan the best you can, and expect the unexpected.

Hoping things will return to "normal" - whatever that is Smile ...
Kathy
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Laurasia
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 15, 2005 11:09 pm    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

CarlinsDarlin: Thank goodness your sister has been able to leave the hospital! What a shock, and a grief for those who lost family. Yes this does teach us that unexpected things can come, and to "expect" them as best we can. But it also points out the value of close family and community ties; just think if you had lived hundreds or thousands of miles away from your family - what would you have done; what would they have done? You would have had the agonizing time it took to travel to see your family, all the time wondering if your sister was better, worse. If you had stayed to help with her children, you would have been all the time aware that you had commitments at your home far away, and would have been 'torn' between a conflicting sense of duty. By living in a more close-knit arrangement, you have eliminated that. People used to live close together, and take care of each other in time of need - and that is what you are doing. We will all need these types of living arrangements in the future to get through challenging times.

Regards,

L.
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Specop_007
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 15, 2005 11:34 pm    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

Goddamn. Bullshit I say, I always hate hearing of unfortunate deaths of good people.
Prayers and thoughts to you and your loved ones and friends.

Sad
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Ludi
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 16, 2005 5:03 am    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

I'm so sorry for your sister, I'm very glad she survived.

Such a difficult time for you, my best wishes to you.
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CarlinsDarlin
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 16, 2005 8:29 pm    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

Thanks everyone. Thankfully everyone's health is improving, and you are right Laurasia, one of the very reasons I moved back onto family land is so that I could be around if I was needed. My parents are getting older, and my sister, being a single parent of 3 little ones - well, I just felt that I would be needed, and I wanted to be closer to family as I got older. I am very glad we moved back here one year ago.

Tonight brings some more bad and shocking news - apparently rumors are circulating that one of the parties in the accident (family of a deceased person) is considering filing a wrongful death suit against my parents (they own the car - sister just used it). Dad's talking to a lawyer Monday. It's just insane. Hasn't there been enough heartache that these people have to cause more?

Interesting times ahead, for sure. Keep my family in your thoughts and prayers if you pray.
Thanks again,
Kathy
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dark-suzie
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 16, 2005 9:43 pm    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

CarlinsDarlin

i extend my condolences to the families of the victims.
especially to the newly orphoned child.
damn.

some times we forget how absurdly lucky we are to even be here.

good point about 'preparedness'.

my peak oil plan:
jog 2 miles 3x a week.
learn, and practice some ..uhhh.. squating?? I guess thats what im gonna do. find a patch of wilderness, grow some vegiies, eat some animals; prove to my self i CAN do it before i HAVE to do it.

and enjoy the luxeries this absurd little tangent of human culture can afford me while they still exist.
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The_Virginian
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Joined: Jun 19, 2004
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 17, 2005 4:48 am    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

och,

as if 5 people dying wasn't enough tradgedy. I really have no clue as to the lawsuit, but on instinct I would hide /sell my assets before any filing could occur and make it look "real" (no 1 dollar sales)...just on gut instinct...
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CarlinsDarlin
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 17, 2005 7:28 pm    Post subject: Add User to Ignore List Reply with quote

Suzie, thanks.

Virginian,
I know what you mean. My dad has actually recently drawn up exactly how my inheritance (and my brother's) of our family land will be. We've had lengthy discussions about it, and the potential need for my dad to sign over some land to my brother anyway, because he wants to build and will need ownership to get a house loan. So, assets distribution, given my dad's health, has been something we've already discussed. Dad may decide to go ahead and do that. I sure hope so. I'd hate to see the land (dad's biggest and only really important asset) leave the family.

THAT would be the biggest tragedy to me Crying or Very sad .
Kathy
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