Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 11:47 am Post subject: Needing Help/Advice
(EDIT: I was hoping I didn't have to do this, but Cashmere remains on my ignore list. Reason: A classic case of asshole...Just ignore his post below everyone.)
I don't know how to start as usual. It's tough explaining this stuff because people here (obviously) don't know me personally so all this will probably seem pretty damn stupid. I can't blame anyone for posting hateful comments. But I would appreciate it if you would bear with me here and refrain from posting anything that you know will just piss me off and not help me.
I apologize for the stupidity I posted here several months ago. I feel like explaining myself but I won't. There is a reason I've been coming to understand (mostly through therapy) because of the abusive relationship I have with my father.
Enough of that... so the deal is, you won't believe this, I left school in May. I won't explain why, it may have been stupid, or it may have been the best decision I've ever made. If anyone remembers, I was at TAMS, I was in college but didn't have my diploma.
To be brief, my situation is that I'm 17 with no job, money, education, or hireable skills. On December 3, I will turn 18 at which point I will leave my father. Possibly in the middle of the night without him knowing. Some people will probably stop reading right there and tell me I'm stupid and being a typical rash teenager, but there is a very good reason why I would leave no later than December 3, 2008. That date is like a beacon of light in my existence. I will leave.
So where will I go? My fundamental problem is that I need a place to sleep and food. I have no certain way I'm going to get either of those.
Someone has already recommended that I join the military. This is a definite no for me. It offends a lot of people but my political opinions and problems I have with my father (who is a retired colonel) just makes this a complete impossibility. Please don't waste your energy (and mine) trying to convince me otherwise, I've been through all that.
What I predict is going to happen is I'll be living with a friend in December while I try to figure some stuff out. Either that or I'll completely pussy out because I'm not sure I have the strength/will to make my own decisions or truly think for myself in this situation. I might end up submitting to my father and he'll sign me up to join the army (that's what he wants me to do). All the assholes on this delusional forum might say to me, “Ah suck it up. You hardly worked a day in life and your skin is pale.” This has absolutely nothing to do with it and you're just making all of this even harder for me because those sorts of comments are alienating and a lot more damaging than you think (please no idiot rants about how our children are being babied and me being a perfect example, you have no clue what you're talking about). I'm glad I'm being helped to realize this stuff.
So I'm lost right now and unfortunately my perception of time has completely changed these past few months. Suddenly the days go by in a wink and December 3 is just around the corner. I doubt I can accomplish much in that time period.
I'm drowning so if anyone wants to through me a floaty, that'd be helpful. Oh and I live in central Texas by the way...
Last edited by Stratovarius on Mon Sep 08, 2008 12:53 pm; edited 1 time in total
Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 11:50 am Post subject: Re: Needing Help/Advice
Quote:
But I hear you saying you will be homeless or sleeping on a friends couch and I would NEVER find myself doing that. NEVER.
You said all of the things I said but YOU dont want to hear it quoted back.
I really believe you want pity for your situation and not help.
READ YOUR OWN POSTS.
I try and be honest and help but you get your feelings hurt. If you want pity, I am NOT the guy to come too. I buried too many guys your age in Nam who would have loved to have the chance youhave.
Here is an example of what I was talking about above. This man knows nothing about me, and it's clear that he got his ego hurt when I bashed the military. I don't think he actually wants to help me...nah.
No more of this garbage please, you sound like my father.
You've already been admitted to college there. Since you are already "in" the system at the University you have access to healthcare and counseling, and you can get loans, work-study jobs, eat at the student cafeteria, work out at the gym, go to classes, hang out, make friends, get a degree, get a job, earn money, buy a house, find a pretty wife, have children, advance in your career, retire, and relax on a big pension.
Actually no I'm not in the system anymore. And I can't go to a university elsewhere, I don't qualify as a transfer. I'd have to apply, and wait a year...not an option for me.
What I predict is going to happen is I'll be living with a friend in December while I try to figure some stuff out. Either that or I'll completely pussy out because I'm not sure I have the strength/will to make my own decisions or truly think for myself in this situation. I might end up submitting to my father and he'll sign me up to join the army (that's what he wants me to do). All the assholes on this delusional forum might say to me, “Ah suck it up. You hardly worked a day in life and your skin is pale.” This has absolutely nothing to do with it and you're just making all of this even harder for me because those sorts of comments are alienating and a lot more damaging than you think (please no idiot rants about how our children are being babied and me being a perfect example, you have no clue what you're talking about). I'm glad I'm being helped to realize this stuff.
How about if I try and convince you not to ever, ever join the military, based on what you said above? First you mention that joining the military is not an option and then you go on to say you might end up following your father's wishes anyhow. Although I'd love to know more about your family / personal situation, I am going to say that if you sign up for something that you really *don't want to do*, you'll sorely regret it, possibly for life. If your mind is made up on this issue, then don't even bother bringing that up, as it's just not doing anybody any good.
Before I toss out a bunch of things like I did in the Obama thread, I'd like to ask what you'd enjoy doing, or enjoy learning how to do. Do you like to be outdoors, doing physical-type activities, or would you prefer to be working behind a computer terminal? Do you like working with others on a team, or do you prefer to go it solo? Asking yourself these kinds of questions and writing them down on a piece of paper to reflect on later will go a long ways to determining what you'd like to do with your life once you leave home. Going to visit a technical college is a great way to figure this stuff out...they even offer free assessment testing and counseling for folks just like you.
And other thing, I know you're not getting along with your dad at the moment, but I just have the feeling it'd do you a world of good to just have a heart-to-heart talk with him *IF* both of you agree not to let it dissolve into a shouting match. If you come up with a solid plan as to what you want to do once you leave home, he just might let go of trying to convince you to join the Army and support whatever it is what you want to do, such as trade school, etc. You might even want to suggest that you'd like to at least wait another year or two before deciding to join the military (wink, wink). But talking man-to-man never hurt anyone, so I'd put near the top of your to-do list.
And most of all, let me wish you good luck on the great adventure called life. _________________ Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide...
...and the meek shall inherit the Earth!
As much as I love city life — restaurants, galleries, bars, shopping — it can also feel dull and consumerist, not to mention hard on the wallet. As an antidote this summer, I turned to Wwoof-ing — that is, participating in World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms (www.wwoof.org), an international program that places volunteers on farms everywhere from Australia to Arkansas to the Alps. For a small membership fee (15 euros in France, for example), you can tend goats in the Jura, fix stone walls in Provence or, as I did, grow vegetables south of Toulouse — with lodging and meals completely free.
...Wwoof-ing, I also learned, is not the only way to enjoy a “working vacation.” At the marina in Monaco, I met Ryan, a young Algerian, who told me it was easy to get jobs on the dozens of megayachts that dock in the principality. No experience necessary. Simply approach the captain and ask for work; if he likes your face, Ryan said, you might land a berth on the high seas — and 100 euros a day. Talk about frugal travel! When was the last time you took a vacation and actually turned a profit?
_________________ "The problems of today will not be solved by the same thinking that produced the problems in the first place." - Albert Einstein
Family? You say no.
Military? You say no.
College? You say no.
You've still got some options. You say you want to leave the country....if thats what you want to do then I suggest you try it.
Others have suggested you take a bus or hitch-hike and go work at the oil boom in Alberta. Thats not a bad idea.
Vaya con dios.
I've heard that the oil boom there is not so booming anymore, but the cost of living has stayed high... I speculate it's because a lot of the "up-front" tar sands work has been done... really, I don't know.
I had a cousin that this didn't really work out well for.
I have attempted to have a heart-to-heart talk more than once. It doesn't work with him. That's why I'm saying this is a no-go. He's too arrogant, closed-minded, and irrational.
Plantagenet:
I do not have family to turn to. I am not going to the military. I would go back to school since I could basically just live there, but the fact is I cannot.
Quote:
Before I toss out a bunch of things like I did in the Obama thread, I'd like to ask what you'd enjoy doing, or enjoy learning how to do.
I'm too much of an academic person but obviously that would mean going to school which is what I can't do.
I think it would be good for me in a lot of ways if I did something physical. And yes, I'm willing to do some back-breaking work from sun up to sun down if that's what the work is.
I don't mind working in groups at all. I have poor people skills but I am willing to work in groups and I won't hate it.
I'm sorry, did I not get the memo that it was pity time again? People, please send me the memo, because I want some pity too.
Aren't you the immense genius who taught himself Japanese?
Isn't there a pityemokid.com forum you could post on?
Seriously dude, this is how your post reads:
I'm having a problem.
Maybe you could help.
But I don't want any help that I wouldn't like.
So don't say anything that would bother me.
I don't like to be bothered.
Like this quote here "------". See? This guy bothered me.
My father is . . . .
So any advice appreciated.
Except advice I don't want.
You're a poster child for the dysfunctional train wreck known as "American Youth." _________________ Massive Human Dieoff must occur as a result of Peak Oil. Many more than half will die. It will occur everywhere, including where you live. If you fail to recognize this, then your odds of living move toward the "going to die" group.
Fail. I had you on my ignore list, and I took you off because I was sympathetic about your words and couldn't blame you.
You've had your second chance and you blew it...HORRIBLY.
By the way, could a mod just remove his message entirely? Clearly the only reason he posted that was not to help me, but to insult me and try to look cool over the internet to boost his own ego.
I'd like a 3rd, and 4th, and 5th opinion on AmeriCorps, PeaceCorps and this Alberta oil boom thing. It's a "boom" so I assume that activity will come to a screeching halt sometime. Could be risky.
Well, because he's ignoring me, this message should not be offensive to him.
There is no way he doesn't read this. He's exactly the type who will read every word that everybody says about him because he is a narcissist.
Look at me look at me. Pity me. Whoa is me!
Kid, this board is chock full of libertarian types who are tough as nails and who will be, in large part, the last folks standing.
When you come on and whine about your dad you're not going to find many sympathetic ears.
December 3rd? That'll be here soon.
You blame your father for all of your problems, so the solution to your problems is simple - when the time comes, sh1tcan the Great Santini.
Simple as that.
Then go get a job and stop wasting your days typing pity me messages to strangers. _________________ Massive Human Dieoff must occur as a result of Peak Oil. Many more than half will die. It will occur everywhere, including where you live. If you fail to recognize this, then your odds of living move toward the "going to die" group.
Okay, I've taken the time to go back and read some of your earlier threads, so I have a bit better idea of where you're coming from. You're obviously a very intelligent, talented kid who really has the potential go far in life, provided you're able to overcome your current mental anguish. I just wish you hadn't found out about Peak Oil until about your 2nd year of college, but it's a bit too late for that now. :/
I just wish you wouldn't rule out so many things in your life, as there's *always* a second chance at things...try and try again is my motto...hehe. You're very academically-minded, so what's to keep you from enrolling at a state university for the '09 Fall semester? Do you really want to get out of the country? Then apply for a passport. Not tomorrow, not next week, but *today.* Grab a passport photo at a drug store and scoot over to a Post Office to fill out a passport application. Very important to do this now, so you can get it in the mail in time for your Dec 3rd departure date.
Okay, you've got some time to kill between now and then, almost 3 more months. Want some inspiration? Then I highly suggest reading 2 novels, which I've found to be highly inspiring, and for someone in your situation, I think it'd do a world of good to read these two books. They are "Pillars of the Earth" and "World Without End" written by Ken Follett. Awesome, awesome novels, about life in Middle Age England. Although epic in scope, these novels really center around various individuals overcoming adversity in the most difficult of situations and using their brains and talents (and just plain guts) to make a better life for themselves, and for the world around them. If those folks can make a go of it in the harshness of Medieval times, then maybe, just maybe we'll be able to get through what faces us in this era. If you don't have enough coin to purchase these books on Amazon, and have a real interest in reading them, give me your contact details, and I'll be glad to order them for you. They're that good.
Wanna know why I care about folks like you? Because in the coming post-peak era, the rest of us are going to *need* folks like you to help cope with the immense difficulties that face us in the coming years. Just remember to keep your head on straight and look at the bigger picture, and keep an open mind, which you already seem to be well on your way to doing. I, for one, am counting on ya. _________________ Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide...
...and the meek shall inherit the Earth!
Yes. Well see guys like Cashmere are not entirely understanding where I'm coming from...I am vain and in this case, my character is highly academic. The reason has to do with some things in my personal life that I'd rather not talk about openly on an internet forum. I was not myself when I was typing that several months ago...that was me in front of my father.
I suppose I'd do well in academia and everyone always recommends that to me, but I wish I could do something completely new and different...get in an environment that is foreign and see new faces. After all these years with my damned father, this will be good for me.
I really need to purge and get a real life.
By the way Cashmere, if I was looking for pity, I would be disclosing a ton of personal details about my life and going back and talking about my parents getting divorced blah blah blah. Am I doing this? Nope. I came here with my situation, and said just enough so hopefully people like you would not waste my time and also so others can mostly see what's going on with me. I gave some straight up facts about my situation and I was looking for some practical advice from a good guy like Byron. This is the planning for the future forum after all...did you forget that?
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