[Jotapay]

Dating a Banker Anonymous Blog

One quote

This whole messy ordeal has advanced my Botox start date by at least two years. Like every other DABA girl, the economy was wreaking havoc on my relationship and youthful good looks. Phone calls went unanswered, Hamptons invitations un-extended, plans canceled (including, but not limited to, expensive opening night tickets to the ballet, which were scalped instead of being graciously offered to me and a galpal), and so forth and so on. Until – the horror of all horrors – my FBF lost his job, which I guess technically downgrades him to just my BF.

Overnight, he went from unavailable to downright clingy. He wants to have dinner every night. By dinner I mean staying in and cooking as Megu is no longer in the budget. AND, FYI DABA girls – chopping vegetables along side your man in a hot New York sized kitchen is NOTHING like the sexy kitchen scene between Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger in Nine and a Half Weeks. Seriously. It sucks. Anyhow, he suggested I meet his parents over the holidays and he keeps commenting that half Asian babies are by far the cutest. My take on his 180: having no steady source of income for the foreseeable future, he realized that his chances of securing another fashion industry type girl are pretty much zilch and so he is cleaving to me as the last vestige of his former high rolling lifestyle.

Thanks to the recession, I now have a completely devoted BF, which is exactly what I wanted. So I should be happy, right? Wrong. I’m bored and can’t stop thinking about my perpetually unattainable Euro ex-boyfriend who is recession proof courtesy of an offshore trust account. To be honest, I’m only with my BF because I just don’t have the heart to change my facebook status from “in a relationship” to “I ain’t saying I’m a gold digger, but I ain’t messin’ with no broke banker.”

The end cannot come soon enough.

[Sixstrings]

Overnight, he went from unavailable to downright clingy. He wants to have dinner every night. By dinner I mean staying in and cooking as Megu is no longer in the budget.

Oh, HEAVEN FORBID a man may actually need some common human compassion from his mate once in a blue moon.

can’t stop thinking about my perpetually unattainable Euro ex-boyfriend who is recession proof courtesy of an offshore trust account. To be honest, I’m only with my BF because I just don’t have the heart to change my facebook status from “in a relationship” to “I ain’t saying I’m a gold digger, but I ain’t messin’ with no broke banker.”

Oh puke.

[idiom]

Suddenly, I found myself being taken out less and less frequently. A recent argument went along these lines:

Me *pouting*: You haven’t taken me on a trip since we went to Bermuda in September. What’s going on?

Charles: Honey, finances are tight right now so my wife has taken it upon herself to check up on all of our accounts. She will notice any big expenditures.

Me *cute voice*: Wellllllllllllll, what are you going to do to make it up to me?

Charles: Can we talk later sweetheart? I’m really busy right now.

Me: No. Give me an answer NOW. Don’t you realize what you have? I’m way too hot to be treated like this. (Disclaimer: Yes, I come across as bratty here, but it typically works when trying to get something out of him)

Charles *yelling for the first time in our almost two-year relationship*: I’VE GOT TO FIRE TWENTY PEOPLE BY THE END OF THE WEEK. Z has four kids, X just had a baby girl, Y just sent his son to college and I’ve got to get rid of two of those guys… and you’re complaining about vacations and dinner? God, you are so 24! GROW UP!

Me *stunned*: Okie dokie, let’s talk later lover.

I found this a more interesting quote. Laying of 70,000 people in one day creates a lot of paper work. And possibly increases purchases of dice.

[ReverseEngineer]

This appears to me to be too well written to be factual, rather I think its a funny fiction with a lot of truth behind it.

Having hung around the New York Club Scene some in my college years, I remember well the FIT girls hanging in the clubs looking for well to do Stock Brokers who would stuff enough Coke up their noses for them to spread their legs in a stupor. The Signature of success back there in the 80s was to run a party in your Penthouse with lines of Coke a mile long on a mirrored Table, populating the party with with the latest Models from the Ford Agency, a few of the local NBA players and MLB players and if you were really well connected maybe a bona fide Hollywood Stud or Starlet. I got into said parties occassionally because one of my best friends came from a family of immense wealth, one of the oldest Fortunes in America.

Many of the guys at those parties were young recent graduates of Columbia Business School recently hired by Lehman or Goldman to almost immediate 6 figure salaries on graduation. My roommate from undergrad actually took one of those jobs later on. If you could catch one of these models in a real stupor and feed her a few good lies about who you were, you might get her for the night, but unless you actually had money to feed her nose and take her to the best clubs in a Limo, you couldn't actually DATE them.

Any of those guys recently made Jobless by the foldin of Lehman ALSO almost certainly has been cut off from dipping his wick into the fashion models, just as Dick Fuld and John Thain were not welcome at the Davos conferance this year. Lose the money, you lose all the Perks that go with that. You wonder why there are suicides here?

For the equally shallow fashion models, the pickings are getting increasingly thin of Pigmen who will stuff their noses full of coke and wine and dine them at Lutece. As Magazines fold, fewer will be employed making $5000 an hour to get their pictures taken fuly clothed. The whoring will become somewhat more explicit, and it will come cheaper also.

Reverse Engineer

[Jotapay]

This appears to me to be too well written to be factual, rather I think its a funny fiction with a lot of truth behind it.

Agreed. The writing does seem intentionally stylized, but the content is certainly plausible and not far fetched. I've been to NYC to hang out several times and have two close friends who have always worked in IT for one of the big banks, insurance companies or investment houses. One of them definitely lives this lifestyle and I hear about it all the time. It makes me want to puke, but it is what it is. I tell them they are insanely foolish up there in NYC and they ask me how life is going in "the bunker down in Texas".

I almost went up there to work for a Wall Street company (in IT) in 2005. I'm obviously glad I decided not to do so.

[gollum]

Good riddance to these pukes, these turds got out of college and made more money than doctors and were idolized as gods in this country, those days are over if things get bad enough they will be lucky to keep their heads attached to their bodies, think french revolution.

[Maddog78]

No wonder Heinekin is looking for an overseas bride.


I know, I know not all American women are like these sluts but many are a little bit like them.

[BlueGhostNo2]

This has to rank as one of the funniest posts I've read on PO.com.

[Spanktron9]

The whoring will become somewhat more explicit, and it will come cheaper also.

Reverse Engineer

I'll start the bidding with a warm bed and 2500 nutritious calories.

[Cochise]

Good riddance to these pukes, these turds got out of college and made more money than doctors and were idolized as gods in this country, those days are over if things get bad enough they will be lucky to keep their heads attached to their bodies, think french revolution.

Could not agree more with you

[davep]

Fark it. Ive still got my contract (albeit my offshore stuff has been investigated, so I've had to come clean). Why not live the life (not that I do any more)? This smacks more of jealousy than anything else.

These guys aren't the real perpetrators. They were suckered into the easy money. At least get your targets aligned properly.

[basil_hayden]

Fark it. Ive still got my contract (albeit my offshore stuff has been investigated, so I've had to come clean). Why not live the life (not that I do any more)? This smacks more of jealousy than anything else.

These guys aren't the real perpetrators. They were suckered into the easy money. At least get your targets aligned properly.

Bullcrap.

What they were doing was wrong and they knew it and did it anyway for their "masters". No Nuremburg defense here...

[davep]

Fark it. Ive still got my contract (albeit my offshore stuff has been investigated, so I've had to come clean). Why not live the life (not that I do any more)? This smacks more of jealousy than anything else.

These guys aren't the real perpetrators. They were suckered into the easy money. At least get your targets aligned properly.

Bullcrap.

What they were doing was wrong and they knew it and did it anyway for their "masters". No Nuremburg defense here...

If you insist

Someone above was adding IT contractors into the mix, purely because they earned decent money. Ho hum...

[lawnchair]

I almost went up there to work for a Wall Street company (in IT) in 2005. I'm obviously glad I decided not to do so.

At least some of the IT guys there didn't live the 'lifestyle'. Plenty were three-to-a-$1000-apartment in Hoboken or Harrison, eating a $5 lunch (plenty of $5-6 lunches in lower Manhattan), working 12-hour-days, and remitting unbelievable sums to the families back in India. Smart, smart fellers.

To actually play with the money, though, you had to play the stupid look-at-me games.

[nobodypanic]

The end cannot come soon enough.

this has got to be the greatest single line i've yet read here as a response to something. amen man. amen.

[davep]

The end cannot come soon enough.

this has got to be the greatest single line i've yet read here as a response to something. amen man. amen.

Aren't you sick of this hyperbole? Yes, the end of our current economic paradigm. But the end of civilisation? Millions dead? Yeah, bring it on. Get a grip, chaps.

[nobodypanic]

The end cannot come soon enough.

this has got to be the greatest single line i've yet read here as a response to something. amen man. amen.

Aren't you sick of this hyperbole? Yes, the end of our current economic paradigm. But the end of civilisation? Millions dead? Yeah, bring it on. Get a grip, chaps.

several points:

one, you need to get a sense of humor.

two, to be honest, i vacillate. some days i actually do wish the whole stupid thing would come crashing down, especially when the thought is contrasted against something as pathetic as it was in this thread. other days (most days), no, since i find the thought of billions suffering rather horrible.

three, you need to get a sense of humor. seriously.

[Jotapay]

I just meant this wussification of our society, which economic or PO collapse will take care of. These people need to go be deep sea fishermen, firemen, construction workers or farmers for a bit. They have no grasp of reality.

[davep]

The end cannot come soon enough.

this has got to be the greatest single line i've yet read here as a response to something. amen man. amen.

Aren't you sick of this hyperbole? Yes, the end of our current economic paradigm. But the end of civilisation? Millions dead? Yeah, bring it on. Get a grip, chaps.

several points:

one, you need to get a sense of humor.

two, to be honest, i vacillate. some days i actually do wish the whole stupid thing would come crashing down, especially when the thought is contrasted against something as pathetic as it was in this thread. other days (most days), no, since i find the thought of billions suffering rather horrible.

three, you need to get a sense of humor. seriously.

Sorry, but these people who were earning 100k, maybe 200k are just workers like us. OK, they got lucky. But they're not pigmen.

I think very soon people may get strung up. I think a sense of humour isn't really relevant when you're tarring everyone with the same brush.

[davep]

I just meant this wussification of our society, which economic or PO collapse will take care of. These people need to go be deep sea fishermen, firemen, construction workers or farmers for a bit. They have no grasp of reality.

Fair enough. But I knew the biggest wuss working for Nomura bank, earning lots of money. He packed it all in to work on a vinyard in Oz.

And I'm more or less from the same place. I have a doomstead and work on it. Wussiness isn't the problem, it's just that after 40, physical work gets harder.

However, when I was younger I worked 12 h night shifts breaking concrete. We all have our own history.

We shouldn't just generalise, because it's pointless.