The scent of a woman’s sadness — manifested in her tears — is a major turn-off for men, according to new research published today. It is the first study to suggest tears of emotion contain chemical signals that influence others’ behavior.
Although men were unable to smell the difference between real tears and a saline solution, they had decidedly different reactions to each. Men who sniffed real tears became less sexually aroused by photographs of women than those who sniffed saline. Just to be sure skin was not the culprit, the researchers dripped saline down women’s cheeks, to the same effect: Only real, fresh-cried tears turned men off.
The researchers, from the Weizmann Institute of Science and Edith Wolfson Medical Center in Israel, actually stumbled across the finding. They expected tears’ chemical signals to trigger empathy or sadness, but that didn’t happen; they did, however, dampen men’s sexual desire. Some researchers believe this phenomenon evolved to protect emotionally vulnerable women from male aggression, while others believe it’s evidence of a heretofore unknown human pheromone, reports the New York Times.
I know a crying woman is a turn-off for me -- MOST of the time, anyway. It's only when the crying is completely unambiguous - like when a woman obviously has good reason
such as after a painful accident or a really fearful experience- that I am not skeptical of it.
I discovered this when I realized that I didn't actually believe there were really good reasons for womens' crying most of the time; that it was perhaps manipulative, or some sort of anxiety neurosis, or a learned response (for example, older women seem to me to cry much less than younger women. English, German, Russian women seem to cry less than young American women, Black women less than White...). I told this to a group of women once after one of them had cried trivially over something. Boy, they just jumped down my throat about that. They didn't like it that I didn't believe the crying was genuine. And they didn't quickly forgive me for that admission either. I became "that odious man" to that group.
I've noticed that a crying woman gets immediate attention from other women. There have been times when I have tried to comfort a crying woman or find out why she is crying, but have been pushed away forcefully by the other women who swarm in to take charge. I can remember several times when I have successfully comforted a crying woman, but when other women showed up, the crying began all over again just as intensely. I can recall receiving glares from them as if to say, "Get the hell out of here, you incompetent caveman, can't you see this is none of your business!"
So these things have all made me skeptical of 95% of female crying instances- not that I am completely unable to perceive a genuine reason when one is there.
Women have always seemed to want me to cry as well - as some sort of healing thing. But I honestly can't cry unless things get really, really bad. I well up now and then, even in a Lassie movie or something, but I have only cried twice in my post adolescent life. Once was after a vicious dog attack when I was 14, the other was after a bad vehicle accident in my mid-twenties - probably 4-5 weeks later, in fact.
It would be interesting to know what the researchers discover about the pheromonal affects of mens' tears on womens' psychology and sexuality. Certainly, women have the better olfactory sense; it should be a more pronounced effect whatever it is.
