Getting to the trailhead took days hitchhiking. Looking back 45 years later the wilderness and the road have fused, the diversity of stories of the lives of drivers is woven together with the diversity found in wilderness. The stillness deep in the wilderness the same as the stillness when dropped off on the side of the road and empty flat horizons enveloped one in silence. Sleeping under bridges where big tractor trailers would thunder overhead, you would see the lights approaching then the massive bulk of steel vibrating and roaring overhead. Light and then boom, just like a thunderstorm. Waking up to the dawn chorus the same whether 40 miles deep in wilderness or at the side of the road, the same feeling of expectation of the day ahead, wide open spaces, the unknown mysteries of the day unfolding. What herd of elk will surprise me, what strange story will the driver share today.
There was still a trusting whole back then, it was mutual, both the driver and the hitchhiker trusted to share a space for awhile on the road. A recently divorced man would open his heart over the tragedy of his love life one minute and the next a schizophrenic riding with open windows in the freezing cold would monologue about how he was Jesus Christ and the postman was Satan, hitchhiking was the greatest surfing experience, each ride a different story, ending at the trailhead where a 14 day backpack deep in wilderness would take you to that quiet baseline in wilderness where every bird song, every rush of wind through the leaves would quiet the mind and allow you see yourself as part of a whole.
Looking back now whether in a tent or sitting in a car life was the greatest adventure. 5 years of my life where lived thus, I could not endure the chains of domestic life or being employed, my visits back to parents and friends and seeing their harnessed lives was all I needed to itch to hit the road again, to canoe down some new wild river. Years went by in my 20’s on the road and in wilderness which looking back today seem like the greatest mystery tour. I am grateful for that time.
Musing over this time now in 2018 I cannot help but reflect how sad society is today, how distrusting, fragmented and splintered. How much anger and tribal angst occupies the minds of agitated souls. What happened in these 45 years? I feel much the same, the wilderness still surrounds me, nature hums with the same base note. In this wilderness retreat we host many guests who make a pilgrimage to find that essential contact with nature, so there still are many individuals who search to find some spiritual nourishment in nature, but the glue that holds culture and society together no longer binds.
I still trust the wilderness, but I would not trust to put out my thumb out at the side of the road, and few would stop to pick me up today. I find no barometer more telling than this simple fact that the levels of distrust in our culture no longer hold us together to give someone a lift a ways down the road. Especially when considering that most folks are alone still in their vehicles and would enjoy a couple hours to share stories.