[MD]

yep. Didn't expect that to happen, but it did. Strange road, some of the roots of which live here on this forum.

So on the upside I am still fit. I walk every day for many miles. I ride my bike every day fro many miles. I hydrate and eat well.

But... I dink too much and somewhere over the last few years I lost my "stop!" button. Tried like hell to find it again, and found it once or twice, but now it's lost forever.

so instead I am now focused on killing the "start" button. Work in progress.

I look back at my 14 years of posts on this site. The decline is evident.

So, I apologize for being an occasional incoherent asshole. i'm in recovery now, with some help. I'm in a safe place. We'll see how it goes. Perhaps in a couple months MD will have something to say again.

OK, that's it. There are plenty of reasons to live and stay sober, big bucket list or die trying!

[Cog]

Thank you for posting about this. Alcoholism is not a weakness, its a condition. The recognition that you can't drink alcohol like most people can, and just shut it off, is the step you must take. Its not even a will power thing. When an alcoholic drinks, he can't just stop after a beer or two, he has to drink all that he can until he passes out.

But just like a person with Type 1 diabetes, you recognize that you can't have a part of alcohol not more than a diabetic can gorge on crème horns. No shame in it and its up to you know to stay away from the triggers that encourage you to take that first drink.

Stay strong and go to AA. You might not believe in the program but it has helped a lot of people. I'm wishing you well and I can talk to you by PM anytime.

[Plantagenet]

Good luck MD

The latest DNA research shows that there are genetic variations that put some people at greater risk for alcoholism.

genetics-of-alcoholism

Shakespeare wrote "The fault is not in our stars but in ourselves."

Today we might say "The fault is not in ourselves but in our DNA."

Good luck to you.

Cheers!

[Outcast_Searcher]

Best of luck, MD.

There appears to be a whole continuum of alcoholic intensities and consequences.

I'm fairly certain I was an early stages alcoholic, but luckily, I'm a coward too, re wanting to protect my health. So when I started having consequences like higher BP, some heart palpitations, and gum problems, I tried quitting. (Luckily, I could easily -- but it was psychologically unpleasant for a couple weeks).

For me, feeling better is WELL worth not drinking. If you notice health benefits from recovery, perhaps that can be a motivation to stick with the discipline.

[mmasters]

I quit drinking last year about this time. It had reached a point of diminishing returns and I was drinking more than ever. I started to get ocular migraines and said enough is enough. I quit and the big thing I noticed is I feel healthier and don't get sick as often. I don't miss the alcohol.

On a similar note I had to quit smoking cigarettes too. About 4 or 5 months ago my lungs started getting irritated. It got worse and worse to the point where I said I've got to quit smoking my body is telling me to stop. So I did it, I quit cold turkey at 39. Took about a month and a half for the urges to go away and about another month and a half before I felt normal without it. I don't miss smoking but I still smoked pot while I was quitting and was still having problems with my lungs so I visited the doctor. Come to find out what happened to me was a case of adult onset asthma. So no more smoking.

Now I'm getting used to being completely sober. It's not that bad really. I do miss the pot though sometimes.

[EdwinSm]

Wishing you all the best MD, and looking forward to you coming back to post.

[careinke]

Thanks for posting MD,

I too don't have an off switch with alcohol, same with cigarettes. Actually, come to think about it, I don't have off switches for a lot of things. I do however have control over the On switch, which has allowed me to quit both alcohol and cigarettes (cigarettes was my hardest).

So I think you are on the right track, hang in there.

On the bright side, my "addictive personality" does have some advantages. When I come across a life challenge, or problem, or even something that interests me, I dig deep to fully understand (Grok) it. Then I take action to better the outcome. Because knowledge doesn't count if you don't use it....

My current interest is health, especially late onset Alzheimer's, and Diabetes. I have not been diagnosed with either of these yet, but the odds are not in my favor. So far, I've changed my diet to high fat/med protein/low carb and usually only eat one meal a day. I'm down 46 lbs from my all time high, and have a lot less inflamation going on.

In addition, I've sent in DNA samples to 23 and me for both ancestry and health traits/markers, I'm especially interested in the Alzheimer's info. Alzheimer's is a tough one, but I've just come across some encouraging things using coconut oil with MCT oil to encourage the liver to produce ketones to feed the brain in lue of glucose....

Anyway I wish you well.

[Newfie]

MD,

Best of luck, and lots of courage and fortitude. Missed you presence, will be glad to have you back.

[dissident]

Please do not let the world weigh on you. Maybe personal problems are not avoidable, but the world going to Hell in a hand-basket is definitely no individual's responsibility or burden.

I have a metabolism that is primed for alcoholism. But I do not drink, except at social events and then in limited amounts. There is nothing special about alcohol. Don't let social drinking take control, if it is a factor. Try to find some other way to relieve the stress and emotional burdens.

[Ibon]

I have had a few very good friends suffer from alcoholism to varying degrees. I am going to take a slightly different tact than the rest of you in offering MD some advice. As much as I wish you the same strength in persevering I would like to suggest you also try to internalize the hardship your alcoholism causes to your loved ones. Alcoholic addiction is a deeply self centered affliction and it is biochemical in nature but that does not take away the painful reality of all those loved ones around you who suffer along with you.

When you reach down deep and find the integrity to overcome this stay focused on the hardships this causes to the ones you love and have that truth burn deep enough in your heart that this grows a deeper conviction to overcome the craving to continue to drink.

Putting the focus off of yourself and onto others is a pathway to healing.

[Cog]

Got to disagree with you Ibon. You can not quit for others or to please others. You must quit for yourself first. An alcoholic will always feel remorse for the damage he has caused others but that remorse will fade. He will think, this time will be different. This time I will control my drinking. The cycle will continue.

The alcoholic has to reach the conclusion that he is powerless over alcohol. He can never control it. The only thing he can do is not drink today. Repeat that daily. Making amends to others will follow. But it never works to quit for other's sakes. You must quit for yourself.

[Ibon]

Got to disagree with you Ibon. You can not quit for others or to please others. You must quit for yourself first. An alcoholic will always feel remorse for the damage he has caused others but that remorse will fade. He will think, this time will be different. This time I will control my drinking. The cycle will continue.

The alcoholic has to reach the conclusion that he is powerless over alcohol. He can never control it. The only thing he can do is not drink today. Repeat that daily. Making amends to others will follow. But it never works to quit for other's sakes. You must quit for yourself.

I think those are very good points Cog. In the end you are right but the plugging into the suffering you are causing others can be that catalyst to finally overcome the addiction. Part of my comment was based on how I witnessed personally one of my best friends alcoholism and how it lead to divorce, the repeated attempts of suicide by her son, the DUI's, etc .etc.... the interventions by us and all our friends to no avail until the near suicide of her son and hitting rock bottom forced her to confront that she needed to deal with her alcoholism.. As you also alluded to it is a battle that never ends. Lifelong struggle.

[GoghGoner]

I haven't drank in 20 years. I went through hell and back in my twenties to get to where I would voluntarily go to AA and accept the fact that I couldn't drink. It is awkward not drinking at times in social situations but I definitely don't miss the consequences. Best of luck.

[MD]

It's truly a conundrum. A thousand things to say that can only be unblocked by a brain fuel that unleashes words without the ability to be coherent.

I feel like a zombie. Fit, healthy, eat right, but my brain is near dead. simple math or programming, which were once natural and effortless are now a struggle.

Age is part of it.

Blah. I'm done with words.

Walkabout. I can do that. Shut my mouth and just wander about, while I still have the capacity and resource

[Cog]

Alcohol will whisper sweet lies to you even more than a woman can. In time, you brain will reset but it will take some time. Be patient and remember, one day at a time.

[AdamB]

OK, that's it. There are plenty of reasons to live and stay sober, big bucket list or die trying!

The first step in solving a problem is admitting that there is one. A important first step, and a good one. We all have our addictions I think, some worse than others. Yours could be alot worse.

[AdamB]

At times over the years (quite a long time ago) there were serious productive discussions as per timing, mitigation, politics etc.

Sure. But then the folks who knew better than to fall for it were encouraged to leave, all the serious left and all you got was echo chamber. No surprise there.

Even the most jaded would have believed that good honest discussion is valuable, even if it wouldn't have changed this course of history. We will never know.

We do know. You wanted an echo-chamber way back then, you got one. Only after the demise of bad resource economics ideas did it become obvious to all but the seriously addled that when it comes to peak oil, the last people you ask about it are the faith based believers.

[dissident]

It's truly a conundrum. A thousand things to say that can only be unblocked by a brain fuel that unleashes words without the ability to be coherent.

I feel like a zombie. Fit, healthy, eat right, but my brain is near dead. simple math or programming, which were once natural and effortless are now a struggle.

Age is part of it.

Blah. I'm done with words.

Walkabout. I can do that. Shut my mouth and just wander about, while I still have the capacity and resource

Physical activity like backwoods hiking and canoeing are, in my experience, a good way to restore proper function of the brain and the body. I do not know how active you are, but if you are trapped in an urban setting, then that may be one of the contributing factors. Breathing polluted indoor and outdoor air doing sedentary work is wreaking the health of tens of millions around the world. Working out at the local gym is not good enough.

[Newfie]

Eat an elephant. One step, one day. You are building a record of success’.

And then one day you will be an example to others, which speaks more loudly, more eloquently, than words.